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I’m Spirited for My Age
Isn’t it strange how we find a greater sense of self as we age, even when time seems to offer us fewer reasons to feel that way? When we’re young and full of life, we often feel anxious and down. One of the perks of aging is that we learn to let go of what no longer serves us. — Inspired by Helen Mirren
I think everyone has that moment when they catch a glimpse of themselves through someone else’s eyes, and it’s a bit of a wake-up call.
Every week, I team up with younger coworkers for bar trivia. They want me on their side because I’ve got a knack for trivia about obscure deities, classic rock, and even 70s adult films. We indulge a bit, munch on fried pickles, and sometimes make up answers just to see how many folks we can mislead. A few weeks back, one of the girls on my team forgot her wallet, so I picked up her tab, making sure to tease her a little as I handed my card to the waiter.
“It’s all good,” he said to her, “sometimes my mom has to bail me out too.”
Yes, he was born into a world where I could easily be her mother—and his too.
I knew this, but the realization has been gnawing at me. To top it off, I recently shared a post online about body image, complete with a full-body shot, and casually mentioned my age.
I’m 47. Why did I do that? Now, everyone will start adding “for her age” to compliments. “She looks great for her age!” “I can’t believe she still wears that or drinks that or takes selfies at her age!” What’s next? “I hope I’m still that tech-savvy at her age.” Seriously, do only pretentious folks say “tech-savvy”?
And then there’s menopause. Is that when we just throw in the towel? Say goodbye to sex, beauty, energy, sanity—and then what?
A quick Google search brings up the following:
- You’ll stop having your period.
- You’ll be thrilled about that.
- No more buying feminine hygiene products.
- Hooray!
- You can’t get pregnant anymore!
- Yay!
- No more periods! That’s pretty neat, right?
- PMS? Not anymore!
- Seriously, no more periods!
- YAY!
Another site hails women in their 50s as “the new face” of menopause. But guess what? Every woman on that list has had some kind of plastic surgery. And while that’s fine, don’t hit me with “50 is the new 30” backed by women trying to cling to some unrealistic beauty standard.
Can’t we just let 50 be the new 50?
I know it won’t be a walk in the park, and I’m sure I’ll have my freak-out moments, probably more than once, just like the old Oil of Olay ads where models confidently declared, “I don’t intend to grow old gracefully. I plan to fight it every step of the way.” But really, they’re just talking about lotion for your face—not summiting Everest. How clever it is to spin a lame notion into a pseudo-feminist rallying cry!
From my perspective, which has certainly evolved since my 30s, what truly matters is maintaining our health, happiness, and relationships. We gain nothing from dumping money on creams, injections, or surgeries just to uphold a false image. It only leads to disappointment when we fail to meet societal beauty standards that were setting us up to fail from the start.
But hey, don’t mind me. I’m just spirited!
For more thoughts on navigating life, you can check out this post on our other blog here.
In summary, aging can be a wild ride filled with delightful moments and harsh realities. It’s all about finding joy in the journey, embracing who we are and letting go of societal expectations.