5 Ways Childfree Besties Can Keep Their Bond with Mom Friends

Updated: Sep. 9, 2023

Originally Published: Sep. 3, 2023

Remember those carefree days when you and your bestie were just two kids navigating the ups and downs of adolescence? You shared secrets, playlists, and those awkward moments of first crushes at school dances. Whether you were playing board games or sneaking sips of your parents’ liquor, you formed a bond that felt unbreakable. You’ve got snapshots capturing your wild antics, and a heartfelt card sits on your desk that says “Best Friends Forever!”

But then life throws a curveball: one of you becomes a mom. Suddenly, your friendship has to adjust to include this tiny new human, and it can feel like everything is changing. The dynamics of your friendship are shifting, and while it’s a beautiful journey for your mommy friend, it can also feel a bit daunting for you. If you want to keep that special connection alive, here are five tips to help childfree besties maintain their bond with mommy friends.

1. Celebrate the New Arrival

When your bestie has a baby, don’t shy away from acknowledging this big change. Even if you’re not a baby person, a quick visit or a thoughtful gift like food or drinks can mean a lot. If you’re far away, consider sending a little something instead of just a text. And make it a point to ask her about her kid’s milestones—even if you’re pretending to be interested while rolling your eyes. After all, she’ll ask about your pets too, right?

2. Plan Outings Without Kids

Make an effort to get together outside of the home, just the two of you. Whether it’s brunch, a spa day, or coffee, these moments away from parenting can be refreshing for her. Plus, don’t forget to include her kids sometimes! Just choose a place where they can have fun while you catch up, like a playground or a kid-friendly café.

3. Stay Flexible

Life with kids is unpredictable, and plans often change. Understand that your mommy bestie is juggling a lot, which may include unexpected illnesses or last-minute work obligations. Don’t take it personally if plans fall through—she’s trying to juggle her responsibilities and still be there for you. Remember, moms of newborns and toddlers can take a break from socializing for a bit without any judgment.

4. Embrace Texting

Long phone chats might be a thing of the past, so lean into texting as a way to stay connected. It’s more convenient for both of you and allows for those quick check-ins, even when life is hectic.

5. Show Empathy

Understand that her kids come first, and don’t resent her for it. Parenting is a full-time job, and while she may want to nurture her friendships, finding the time can be tough. We all have our priorities, and sometimes that means putting kids ahead of our social lives. It’s okay to feel a little neglected sometimes, but remember that your friendship is still valuable.

Moms, don’t think you’re off the hook! Next week, we’ll discuss how mom friends can make an effort to maintain their friendship with childfree pals. It’s all about balance, right?

In summary, maintaining a friendship when one person becomes a mom can be challenging, but with understanding and effort, it can definitely be done. Celebrate the new arrival, plan outings, stay flexible, embrace texting, and practice empathy. You both can navigate this new chapter together!