Dear Cousin,
I just heard the wonderful news that you’re having a baby girl! Your mom, my aunt, was over the moon with excitement. The first thing that came to my mind was a memory of us as little girls playing on the beach. I can picture us at ages 3 and 4, lying on our stomachs, elbows in the sand, heads resting on our hands. Your bright blonde hair stood out next to my dark locks, and our big smiles said it all: we were two happy kids enjoying the sun.
So much has changed since that sunny day on the beach. We grew up in different parts of the state—me in the countryside and you in the bustling suburbs. Despite our moms’ best efforts to keep us close, life has a way of creating distance. Yet, I still think of us as those carefree girls. Now that you’re about to embark on the beautiful but challenging journey of motherhood, I feel like the big sister looking out for you. Here are some things I wish someone had shared with me during my own pregnancy:
- Savor These Last Few Months of Freedom
While you will eventually have solitary moments again, they won’t feel the same. Once your little one arrives, you’ll find that the quiet can be overwhelming, and the baby will always be on your mind. So, indulge in those movies, books, and long baths now. You might not have as much time for yourself later on. - Spend Quality Time with Your Partner Before Baby Arrives
While the arrival of our first child was a blessing, I remember feeling a longing for my husband, even though he was right there with me. After years of being a duo, we had to navigate our new identity as a family of three. Keeping communication open and enjoying time together beforehand is so important. - Don’t Overwhelm Yourself with Every Parenting Book
In the final weeks of my pregnancy, I found myself diving into every parenting book I could find. It became so much information that I was practically dizzy. My doctor even suggested I take a break from reading! Sure, those books can offer guidance, but trust your instincts—you’ll discover what works best for you and your little one. - Create a Birth Plan, But Stay Open to Change
Having a vision of how you want your birth experience to go is valuable. However, it’s also essential to stay flexible. Sometimes things don’t unfold as we hope. I’ve heard stories of friends who were so set on their plans that when unexpected situations arose, they felt guilt and inadequacy. - Don’t Forget to Pack for Yourself When Heading to the Hospital
Everyone reminds you to pack a hospital bag, but I ended up bringing tons for the baby and hardly anything for myself! I recommend including warm socks, some sweets, and your own maxi pads. A comfy robe, slippers, and new pajamas can make a world of difference. And don’t even think about packing your pre-pregnancy jeans! Stick to your maternity pants for a while as your body adjusts. - Ultimately, You Will Find Your Own Path
Many people will offer you advice on parenting, but remember that what works for others may not be right for you and your baby. You’ll figure things out just like all of us do. And remember, I’m always here if you need a helping hand or a listening ear.
I can’t wait to see you embrace motherhood and to watch our little girls grow up together. I still have that beach photo and would love to recreate it with our daughters. Your baby and my youngest will be nearly two years apart—almost the same distance we had! Until then, I wish you all the best on this incredible journey, and I can’t wait to meet your sweet girl.
Warmly,
Ella