My daughters frequently inquire about my upbringing. Some nights, their curiosity is genuine, while other times, I suspect they’re simply trying to delay bedtime. I often share neatly packaged stories with a clear narrative arc—like the time a German shepherd chased me on my way to school and the creative strategies I employed to avoid confrontation.
However, there’s a deeper story about my mom that I haven’t fully articulated until recently. She was just 23 when she had me, 34 when her marriage ended, and 42 when she embraced sobriety. Throughout these life stages, she imparted a subtle lesson that today’s world might refer to as a “joy-hack”—ironic, considering her own mother was named Joy.
We didn’t have much money, so our belongings were never brand names or top-tier. I often wore hand-me-downs, and she crafted her work outfits from random pieces she embellished with whatever she had on hand. While I could say she taught me not to crave material possessions, I still find myself shopping! Instead, what she truly gave me was the ability to seek joy, even amidst chaos. This is a lesson I strive to instill in my daughters, but it’s not enough to simply tell them, “Even when things are tough, happiness is still possible.”
Finding Joy in Chaos
This lesson becomes vital in moments of personal struggle. For instance, I once faced a laundry disaster when a batch of clothes had gone bad in the washer. Just as I was grappling with the situation, my middle daughter shouted, “Mom, I don’t have any pants!” I rummaged through our cupboards and found a pair of leggings, but they had a hole. “Mom, I can’t wear these. My teacher sends me to the nurse if there are holes!”
Instead of stressing, I reached for my sewing kit and started to mend the tear. When the fabric bunched awkwardly, instead of panicking, I sewed a smiley face into it, making the imperfection look intentional. My daughter beamed, “Mom, you’re the best!” In that moment, I realized it was my mom’s influence that made me resourceful.
A few years back, my husband and I faced significant financial challenges when our business struggled. The weight felt suffocating, and I battled feelings of despair. Yet, amidst the chaos, I found solace in the familiar texture of a quilt. Running my fingers over its stitched patterns, I discovered comfort and a spark of hope in its colors. Life can be overwhelming and filled with setbacks, but my mom taught me how to find a glimmer of joy in the midst of it all.
Resources for Further Reading
If you’re interested in more about home insemination, check out this informative post from our other blog. Also, for those exploring similar topics, Make a Mom offers great insights on artificial insemination kits. For more resources on pregnancy and home insemination, Kindbody has excellent articles available.
In summary, the lessons passed down from my mother are about resilience and finding joy through adversity. These teachings shape how I navigate life’s challenges and are the gifts I wish to share with my daughters.