Last Friday, I suddenly felt nauseous. That afternoon, I was experiencing cramps and had a strong urge to nap. I canceled my plans, and shortly after, a friend texted me: “Maybe you’re pregnant! Or maybe you just ate undercooked chicken. It’s a fine line between the two.”
Ah, yes. There is indeed a VERY fine line, and it’s not exactly helpful, is it? As someone actively trying to conceive while also indulging in questionable food choices (I’m looking at you, food trucks), I can’t help but wonder what Mother Nature was thinking when she created all of this. It’s almost like she has a sense of humor! And as if that wasn’t enough, the symptoms for PMS are strikingly similar. Hilarious, right?
Dear Mother Nature, you crafted butterflies—those are beautiful! Intricate designs, delicate structures, stunning symmetry and colors. Yet, you couldn’t clarify the differences between the beginnings of life, bad chicken consumption, and PMS? Come on!
Three Minutes in My Mind:
I feel bloated. These jeans are so TIGHT! I must be pregnant!
Oh wait—never mind. I just need to use the restroom. Also, these are size 4, and who am I kidding? Okay, not pregnant. Definitely not.
Why am I getting emotional over this commercial? I must be hormonal! But really, that was a touching ad. Anyone would get choked up watching that.
But these cramps don’t feel like my usual ones. I can’t even recall what my period is supposed to feel like! However, I’m certain I don’t usually have to pee this often.
Except when I drink juice. That’s always a culprit.
But with all the peeing and sore breasts, I must be pregnant! Unless my bra is too tight, which could explain it too.
Then there’s this heightened sense of smell. I can smell EVERYTHING! Sure, my partner is eating garlic bread, so it’s strong, but not THIS strong. No one has a nose this sensitive! And why am I so queasy? What a good sign! Unless it’s not, especially since that cheese I had for lunch was definitely expired.
Since clarity doesn’t seem to be Mother Nature’s strong suit, I’ve put together a little cheat sheet to help us distinguish whether we’re pregnant, suffering from food poisoning, or just dealing with PMS.
Handy Reference Sheet:
- Cramps can signify implantation, PMS, or food poisoning.
- Bleeding can occur with either implantation or PMS.
- Vomiting can indicate pregnancy or food poisoning.
- Constipation may signal pregnancy or too many steak subs.
- Fatigue might mean you’re sick, pregnant, or just overwhelmed by life.
- Tender breasts can indicate pregnancy or just overzealous self-examination in search of clues.
I hope this proves helpful! Now, come on, Mother Nature—get it together! You’re confusing us (though your work with butterflies is truly exquisite).
This article was originally published on May 8, 2015.
If you’re ready for more insights, check out our other posts on home insemination kits, like this one from Make A Mom, an authority on this topic. Additionally, for thorough information about fertility, visit Science Daily, which is an excellent resource.
Summary:
Navigating the uncertainties of early pregnancy symptoms can be tricky, especially when they mirror food poisoning or PMS. From cramps and nausea to heightened senses, the signs can easily confuse anyone hoping to conceive while dealing with everyday life. A handy reference sheet can help clarify what you might be experiencing.