In early November, I emerged from the shower to find that I was alone at home. Wrapped in a towel, I stood there soaking in the tranquility—something I hadn’t experienced since, well, probably March. That was when life went into overdrive: my job went remote, my partner’s job went remote, and our three kids began their online schooling.
As a father of three, the desire for some much-needed solitude has been building since my son arrived in 2007. I recognize that fathers often enjoy more alone time than mothers, and I commend my partner, Lucy, for the tireless effort she put into raising our kids while she was a stay-at-home mom. She often longed for a moment of peace amidst the chaos.
But this isn’t about comparing alone time between parents; it’s about the rarity of finding that precious time, especially in 2020 when our whole family was working and learning from home. Solitude has become as elusive as a mirage in a desert, or perhaps as mythical as Bigfoot. With COVID-19 still looming, playdates, birthday parties, and outings to the community pool were off the table. And with winter in full swing in Oregon, outdoor adventures became limited to dodging rain.
Every week, I send Lucy to our bedroom for some much-needed “me time.” She locks the door and enjoys a few hours of solitude. I get the same privilege, but it’s not the same as having the entire house to myself. It’s a different vibe when the house is still, devoid of running, arguing, and the usual cacophony of family life. So when I stepped out of that shower and realized I had the house to myself, I was at a loss for what to do with that silence.
After drying off and getting into my underwear (because why not?), I pondered my options: maybe I’d catch up on a show or call a friend for a chat. Instead, I opted for what seemed like the most logical choice in that moment. I grabbed some popsicles from the freezer and settled at the kitchen table in my undies to relish the quiet. Yes, it might not be the most glamorous image to conjure—a middle-aged dad devouring popsicles—but it was an experience I wouldn’t trade for anything.
I savored those 30 minutes before Lucy and the kids returned from a walk around the neighborhood, taking advantage of a rare break in the rain. And while I was glad they enjoyed that time outside, I couldn’t help but feel that those few moments of solitude were the highlight of my year.
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In summary, the joyous simplicity of enjoying popsicles in my underwear while relishing the silence of an empty house was a much-needed escape from the chaos of family life. Those brief moments of solitude stood out as a highlight in a year filled with challenges.