George Carlin once said, “It’s bad for ya” — and we can’t help but think he meant missing out on your weekly dose of humor! While that might not have been his original intention, it’s a thought worth cherishing, right? Though Carlin passed away in 2008, his legendary wit and wisdom continue to resonate today. If you’re feeling nostalgic for his unique take on life, check out our collection of George Carlin quotes.
Known as “The Dean of Countercultural Comedians,” Carlin was ranked second on Rolling Stone’s 2017 list of the greatest stand-up comedians, trailing only Richard Pryor. His famous “seven dirty words” routine played a pivotal role in the 1978 Supreme Court case F.C.C. v. Pacifica Foundation, which affirmed the government’s right to censor indecent content on the airwaves. He also hosted the first-ever episode of Saturday Night Live in 1975. Love him or hate him, Carlin’s impact on comedy is undeniable. Here are some of his most unforgettable quotes:
- “I talk to myself because I trust my own answers.”
- “The Earth is fine. It’s the people who are messed up.”
- “Men are stupid, and women are crazy — and the reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”
- “Fighting for peace is like having sex for chastity.”
- “Ever notice that anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone driving faster is a maniac?”
- “That’s why it’s called the American Dream — because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
- “At night, when the wolves are silent, only the moon howls.”
- “Don’t underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
- “Ever wonder about those folks paying two bucks for Evian bottled water? Try spelling it backward.”
- “If you aim to fail and succeed, what have you accomplished?”
- “Some wonder why things are; others dream of what could be; then there are those who just go to work.”
- “In cat language, ‘meow’ actually means ‘woof.’”
- “Religion is like footwear: Find what fits you, but don’t force me into your shoes.”
- “I admire how flowers or grass can grow through concrete cracks — it’s incredibly heroic.”
- “Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Get over it.”
- “Think of the average person’s stupidity, and realize half of them are even dumber.”
- “May the forces of evil get lost on their way to your door.”
- “I don’t have pet peeves; I have full-blown psychotic hatreds.”
- “I think a lot, which apparently makes me an un-American moron.”
- “Scratch a cynic, and you’ll find a disappointed idealist.”
- “I asked a bookstore clerk where the self-help section was; she said revealing it would defeat the purpose.”
- “Some see the glass half full, others half empty; I see a glass that’s bigger than it needs to be.”
- “How can there be a civil war?”
- “Never argue with an idiot; they’ll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.”
- “Life becomes simpler once you cut out the nonsense they teach in school.”
- “The warning labels on alcohol should be more colorful; how about, ‘Alcohol turns you into your father!’”
- “Isn’t it unsettling that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?”
- “Those who view life as anything beyond entertainment are missing the point.”
- “Don’t stress over minor things, and don’t pet the sweaty ones.”
- “Laugh often, loudly, and for a long time — laugh until you struggle for breath.”
- “When you’re born, you get a ticket to the freak show; in America, you get a front-row seat.”
- “Just because you’ve gotten rid of your monkey doesn’t mean the circus has left town.”
- “Cynics are just disappointed idealists in disguise.”
- “Electricity is just organized lightning.”
- “If you can’t defeat them, arrange for them to be defeated.”
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Summary
George Carlin’s sharp humor and keen observations about life continue to inspire laughter and reflection. His quotes remind us not to take life too seriously, while also encouraging us to think critically about the world around us. Whether you’re looking for a chuckle or a fresh perspective, these quotes are sure to resonate.
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