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The last few weeks have felt like a total whirlwind. Solo parenting can be challenging even on the best days, but during the tough times, it can feel like navigating through a dizzying kaleidoscope. When those difficult days pile up into a week—or even weeks—being a solo parent becomes a test of simply holding on.
After a particularly exhausting stretch, I find myself facing Mother’s Day. The greeting card section is adorned with an abundance of pink hues, and my social media feeds are flooded with sentimental messages about what moms truly desire for this special day.
According to these messages, mothers yearn for more sleep, some peace and quiet, and perhaps a piece of jewelry engraved with their children’s initials. A few years ago, before I became a solo mom, I might have wished for the same. However, now, I often wish to bypass Mother’s Day altogether. From my vantage point, this day is a reminder that I am navigating this journey solo, especially during a pandemic. The reality of managing everything without a partner is exhausting in ways that coffee can’t remedy.
It’s tempting to ignore the significance of this day, to simply power through and focus on the tasks at hand to keep my kids and myself moving forward. Yet, perhaps this year, Mother’s Day serves as a reminder I truly need. It’s a chance to acknowledge how remarkable it is that I’m handling all of this on my own. I might not be the only solo mom who has been so consumed with daily demands that she has forgotten to pause and appreciate her accomplishments.
I hesitate to use the word “strong” because it often feels misleading. Many solo moms might resonate with this sentiment—not because we feel weak, but because the term can unintentionally overlook the struggles we face daily. We often just muster the strength to meet our children’s needs, and calling it “strength” can feel like a mask hiding the challenges we endure.
Instead, I prefer to think of what we do as extraordinary. Keeping a household running single-handedly, even if it’s not as seamless as we’d like, is anything but ordinary. Providing a sense of safety for our children in an unpredictable world is exceptionally commendable. Even on days that feel far from extraordinary, the truth is that our efforts are remarkable.
Mother’s Day can be difficult for many, for various reasons. It’s a day that celebrates mothers but also serves as a reminder of what’s missing for some. My heart goes out to everyone feeling this pain on Mother’s Day. There are no words that can truly ease that ache.
To all the solo moms out there, take a moment to reflect on everything you’ve accomplished on your own. Recognize your efforts and allow yourself to feel celebrated because what you do is genuinely extraordinary.
This article was originally published on May 7, 2021. For more insights, check out this post on our blog.