12 Signs It’s Time for a Glass of Wine

home insemination Kit

Hey there, friend! Let’s be real for a second—parenting is no walk in the park. Between the sleepless nights and constant demands, it’s a miracle we even manage to keep our sanity. Sometimes, you just need a little something to take the edge off. So, here are a dozen signs that might indicate it’s time to pour yourself a glass of wine:

1. If you calculate your total nap minutes and find they’re less than 60 divided by the number of kiddos under five, it’s definitely wine o’clock.
2. You find yourself adhering to the Poop Rule of Twos: you’ve either dealt with poop for two minutes, talked about it for four, or thought about it for eight.
3. Your child has had a timeout that required you to physically prevent them from escaping the room. Yup, that’s an immediate call for a glass.
4. It’s a snow day, sick day, or literally any day that feels like a disaster. A runny nose? Wine privileges. A trip to the ER? You deserve a whole bottle.
5. “Mommy!” has been shouted at least 27 times in the last half-hour. You’re definitely due for a drink.
6. You’re cooking dinner. Seriously, even if it’s just mac and cheese or quesadillas, that counts as dinner in the parenting world. Cheese equals wine!
7. If you’ve had to go to work today—whether at an office or from home—grab yourself a glass. Stay-at-home parenting is still work, my friend!
8. You’re unloading the dishwasher and just can’t bring yourself to put the wine glasses away. That’s a sign.
9. You need corks for a craft project. Don’t be shy about it—wine can be part of the creative process!
10. You’re searching for inspiration for said cork project. Wine can help with that, too.
11. There’s an open bottle of wine calling your name. Or maybe you totally spaced on opening one last night. Either way, it’s time.
12. It’s after 5 p.m. somewhere within five time zones from you. Unless it’s the weekend—then you can enjoy bubbles any time!

So there you have it! Hopefully, these cheeky guidelines resonate with you as much as they do with me. And hey, if you’re looking for more resources on home insemination, check out this great article and also visit Make A Mom for expert tips. If you’re in the pregnancy phase, Healthline is an excellent resource to help you navigate through it!

Summary

Parenting can be overwhelming, and sometimes a glass of wine is just what you need to unwind. From nap calculations to dealing with poop and everything in between, these humorous signs may be your cue to pour a drink and take a breath. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey!