I’m Not Who I Imagined I’d Be at 40, and That’s Just Fine

home insemination Kit

So, here I am, deep into my 40th year, and this morning I found myself at the kitchen table, piecing together a model Porsche with my seven-year-old son. It’s a stunning red Boxster—or at least that’s what the box claims. With school out, my kids asked, “Mom, will you be using the kitchen?”

“Uh, not really,” I replied hesitantly.

But surprise! Today is Car Day, and my son decided he couldn’t wait for the weekend when his dad would be around to help. Before I knew it, he had dumped the entire contents on the table, and my plans for the day quickly fell by the wayside.

With my son cheering me on, I tried to follow the instructions for assembling the Porsche. But soon enough, he dashed off to play with his sister, who had transformed the living room into a racetrack with every toy car they could find. It felt like a throwback to their younger days, and I realized that phase isn’t quite over yet.

Honestly, I’m not exactly a pro at building model cars. Those tiny pieces and the confusing instructions are enough to make anyone’s head spin. A rogue screw went flying, and we all scrambled to find it among the dust bunnies and snack crumbs. “Moooom!” they called out in despair. I had to remind them that this whole Porsche project was not originally my idea—Dad usually handles this.

But you know what? This is my life at 40, and I wouldn’t change it for anything. Those little voices calling me away from my work on the computer—“You love that thing more than us!”—just so I can witness their latest skit or admire a bizarre shoebox creation made for their pipe-cleaner characters, remind me of the joy in these moments.

I once envisioned turning 40 as a time of sophistication and busyness, where I’d be too occupied for model car assembly. I thought I’d be more polished, more accomplished, and far too busy to deal with strawberry jam stains on my daughter’s favorite shirt. By this age, shouldn’t I be focused on things that truly matter in life?

“Mom! We have eighty-eight cars! Now with the Porsche, we have eighty-nine!” my daughter exclaimed. Seriously, how can one family have that many cars?

Clearly, I had some misconceptions about aging. The sight of those 89 cars scattered across the kitchen floor tells me that life is pretty darn good. Reaching this milestone is filled with familiar comforts, and I’m relieved that change comes gradually, not all at once. I’m happy to be here in my jeans, ready to tackle the important things—like my kids and yes, that model car. A sense of accomplishment? Absolutely. Even if I couldn’t quite get those headlights on.

If you’re interested in more about the journey of parenthood, check out this post on home insemination from one of our other blogs. It’s a great read for anyone navigating this wild ride of life. And if you need reliable resources like fertility boosters for men, Make a Mom has got you covered. Plus, for more information on pregnancy and home insemination, Healthline is an excellent resource.

In summary, while I may not have turned out to be the sophisticated person I imagined at 40, I’ve found joy in the little moments that truly matter, surrounded by my children and the chaos of life.