25 Signs You’re a Stay-at-Home Mom

1. Half of your meals are made up of your little one’s leftovers.
2. When your partner asks, “What did you do today?” you can’t think of a single thing to share, even though you feel like you’ve just been through the spin cycle.
3. Your kids are confused when you put on jeans and ask where you’re heading.
4. You can clean your entire house with just a pack of baby wipes.
5. A “night out” means browsing the aisles of Target solo.
6. The TV’s been on all day, but you’re clueless about current events.
7. Showering feels like a major triumph.
8. Your kids see you in the buff more than your partner does.
9. You know precisely what sound a fox makes—because you spend half your time mimicking animals.
10. Your mood hinges entirely on how long your child napped.
11. Wearing a bra signals that someone special is visiting.
12. As you’re about to leave, you glance down at the remnants of your child’s food on your shirt and think, “Eh, it could be worse.” Or worse still, you taste it.
13. You sometimes pretend to have a stomach ache when your partner comes home, just for a moment of peace in the bathroom.
14. Your dog barks when you put on “real” shoes.
15. You’ve invited door-to-door salespeople in more than once—and scared them off by asking if they want a dirty martini.
16. You check the weather outside before heading out because you’ve lost track of how long it’s been since you ventured out.
17. Scrolling through Facebook feels like hanging out with friends.
18. You’ve worn the same outfit for days, and you’ve lost count of how many “a couple” actually are.
19. You’ve thought about performing your own hysterectomy while cooking dinner… more than once.
20. Your vacuum has become a permanent fixture in the busiest part of your home and hasn’t been unplugged in months.
21. You may not know the date or day of the week, but you can tell the time based on which cartoon is on.
22. It’s only 9 AM, and you’ve already thought, “I could really use a drink.”
23. You find yourself nursing an infant on the toilet while trying to schedule a doctor’s appointment.
24. The cup of coffee you’re sipping at lunch is the same one you brewed at 5:30 AM—just reheated for the umpteenth time.
25. You dread going to bed because the silence feels heavenly, no matter how exhausted you are.

home insemination Kit

Being a stay-at-home mom can be wonderfully chaotic, and it’s the little moments that make it all worthwhile. If you’re exploring more about home insemination, check out this article on intracervical insemination for some insightful tips. And if you’re looking to learn about self insemination, Make a Mom is a great authority on the subject. Also, for those navigating the journey to parenthood, Mount Sinai offers excellent resources for infertility and pregnancy.