The Gap Makes Crappy Shoes & Other Life Lessons by 40

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Hey there! So, here’s a little wisdom I’ve gathered as I’ve hit the big 4-0, and trust me, it’s a mixed bag of hilarity and reality checks.

1. Time flies! One moment you’re in a doctor’s office with your kids, and it feels like an eternity, but blink, and the years have zipped by.
2. Giving your kiddos chores? Genius! It teaches responsibility and (let’s be real) gives you a breather.
3. A well-fitting bra is a must. Seriously, it should be off by 9 p.m. at the latest—5 p.m. sounds even better!
4. If you’re unsure about buying something, just don’t—especially when it comes to shoes and lipstick. Trust me on this one.
5. Sometimes, you end up at Disney on Ice not because you want to, but because you know your kid will adore it. And let’s not even talk about the $7.50 tepid hot chocolate mug…
6. Stale popcorn at Disney on Ice? Yep, still overpriced!
7. You can totally give yourself a pedicure, but honestly, it’s way more relaxing to let someone else do it.
8. Exercising is essential, but so is indulging in a bag of kettle corn once in a while. Balance is key!
9. To your kids, the “good old days” are any time before the internet took over.
10. Red paint? You’ll need 3-4 coats to get it right.
11. Mirrors might seem pointless, but they help you convince your kids you have eyes in the back of your head.
12. Cookies? Definitely not pointless. Laundry, though? The absolute worst.
13. The size of your house doesn’t matter nearly as much as the love inside it—cheesy but true!
14. Marriage can be tough, but trust me, it’s worth it for that anniversary cake.
15. You’re at that age where you could be the mom of the attractive lifeguards at the pool.
16. Having kids is monumental, but raising them into adults you genuinely admire? That’s the real challenge.
17. When it says “low rise” on clothing, it’s basically a sign to steer clear.
18. Mom jeans (or jeggings in my case) do have their perks.
19. Being your authentic self is the best thing you can do.
20. Drop-off birthday parties? Total win!
21. It’s way better for your husband to have the “talk” with your pre-teen son about body changes.
22. Jotting down your thoughts ASAP is smart; otherwise, they vanish in the blink of an eye.
23. Wrinkles sneak up on you!
24. Finding a good hairdresser is key to feeling fabulous.
25. Quality time spent truly listening to your loved ones? Priceless.

Remember, 40 is just a number, right?

If you want to learn more about family planning and home insemination, check out this post for some great insights. And for those looking into the details of artificial insemination, Make a Mom has you covered too! Also, Resolve is an excellent resource for all things related to pregnancy and family building.

In summary, life lessons by the age of 40 include the importance of balance, the value of love over material things, and the humor in our parenting experiences.