The 5 Phases of Intimacy After Baby

1. Please, Not Now!

This phase kicks off the moment those labor pains hit and lasts until you’re finally snagging a solid five hours of sleep at night. You’re in a haze of disposable underwear, battling sweat-soaked pajamas, and it’s hard to remember that a little romance got you here in the first place. Your partner might find those disposable undies oddly enticing and try to get a little cozy. If that happens, I recommend showing him some not-so-flattering baby delivery photos — a surefire way to extinguish any lingering desire!

2. Too Much Effort

Around six months in, the idea of rekindling that spark starts to feel doable, maybe for the future. You recall the fun of intimacy, but with sleepless nights and endless baby duties, the thought of anything beyond brushing your teeth feels like an Olympic event. Meanwhile, your partner might be itching for some action, puzzled by your hesitation. If that’s the case, some birth photos might come in handy again, or maybe consider gifting him a subscription to a site like Make a Mom — it might just keep him distracted enough!

3. Let’s Give It a Go

Your baby is finally sleeping through the night, you’re back to showering regularly, and you’re starting to feel like yourself again. You shave your legs, pour a glass of wine, and attempt to get romantic. Then you both remember that your lactating bosoms are still in the picture. Nothing kills the mood faster than an unexpected milk squirt, right? You try to work around the situation, but when you finally attempt to get intimate, the pain hits you like a freight train — not exactly the reunion you envisioned. You both agree that maybe a little more wine and a Tylenol chaser is the way to go.

4. Reconnecting with Intimacy

You’ve settled into parenthood, organized a routine for your little one, and even managed to carve out some alone time with your partner. You’ve tackled postpartum intimacy a few times and thankfully, it no longer feels like fire down there! You might even be done breastfeeding, reclaiming your body, and celebrating with more frequent romantic encounters. Suddenly, intimacy feels exciting again, and you can’t believe you took a break just because of a little tiredness. You and your partner decide that more frequent intimacy is definitely on the table.

5. Maybe Another Baby?

When you’re getting good sleep and enjoying a margarita (or two), the idea of trying for a second baby starts to sound amazing. Why not? At the very least, it gives you a reason for more intimate moments! You think about how adorable babies are and how much fun it would be to have another child. Don’t stress, the second time around will be a breeze, right? So, let’s get to it — now, take off those pants!

Just a friendly reminder: while intimacy is great, so is a good night’s sleep. Consider using protection!

If you’re looking for more insights on this topic, check out this blog post for some great tips. And for more on home insemination, Progyny is an excellent resource.

Summary:

Navigating intimacy after having a baby can be a wild ride with several phases. From initial disinterest to rekindling the spark, it’s a journey filled with ups and downs. Remember, while romance is important, so is getting enough rest!