9 Secrets Dads Keep from Mom

home insemination Kit

We all know the drill: “This can be our little secret,” a dad says with a wink, making a pinky promise with the kids. Sure, some might argue that parents should share everything, but let’s face it—sometimes a few secrets can create a special bond between dad and the kids. Here are nine things we might not mention to mom.

1. The moment we see mom’s car leave, the living room transforms into an epic obstacle course. Couch cushions become the Reigns of Fire Pit, and every piece of furniture is repurposed as a launching pad for a daring leap. But as soon as we hear a car door slam, it’s back to normal—quick!

2. Occasionally, things get broken. Did you know that a saucer from the china cabinet is perfect for sending Barbie sledding down a snowy hill? Sure, it’s all fun and games until it shatters. But with 19 similar saucers, does dad really need to spill the beans? Trust me, every dad knows exactly where the Superglue is hiding—in the back of the junk drawer.

3. We’re aware of MPAA ratings and don’t let our 10-year-olds watch something too intense. But maybe a little Hunger Games or Pitch Perfect is acceptable? After screening, we sometimes realize we might’ve misjudged, leading to a silent agreement to keep it between us.

4. Who actually enjoys going to Target? Not me! So when the kids tag along, there’s always a request for a surprise toy. Dads know that Random Present Day isn’t going to fly at the dinner table, so we sneak the new toy into the basement or bedroom before mom notices. It’s hard to spot a new toy car among the chaos!

5. If there’s a football game on, you can bet iPad time gets a little extended. I won’t say a word if you don’t.

6. Ice cream for dinner? We know it’s not right, but sometimes it just happens. To keep the peace, we keep it vague: “Yeah, we had dinner around 5.” No need to mention the details—that’s part of the You Didn’t Ask, So We Didn’t Tell policy.

7. We snagged some “snacks” at the movie theater. Let’s just say they were delicious.

8. We know bedtime is important, but what’s an extra 45 minutes of dad and daughter time? We’re fully aware we’re the ones who will get in trouble if bedtime is missed, but if the kiddo is asleep when mom gets home, what’s the harm?

9. A minor traffic violation? No need to make mom worry about that—right?

Now that I’ve let the cat out of the bag, I might be in trouble. But hey, I still have a few tricks left up my sleeve. For more parenting gems, check out our other posts, including this one on terms and conditions for home insemination kits. And if you’re looking for expert advice, Cryobaby’s guide is a great resource, as is this information on female infertility.

In summary, having a few secrets between dads and kids is part of the fun of parenting. From sneaky toys to late-night ice cream, these little moments create lasting bonds.