11 Things I Want My 10-Year-Old Son to Know About Dating

Today, I noticed that my son’s shoes are now bigger than mine, and it hit me hard—he’s growing up. As a mom, one of my earliest realizations was that someday, someone I don’t even know yet will love him. My main job is to help him become a loving man. Now, as he’s stepping into the turbulent waters of adolescence, I want to share some important lessons about dating and relationships that I hope he’ll carry with him.

1. Be Kind First and Foremost

There will be people—especially girls—who may like you more than you like them. While it’s okay to not feel a connection, always treat others with kindness. Be gentle with their feelings, just as you would want someone to be with your little sister.

2. Establish Boundaries

Don’t lose yourself in a relationship. Stay true to who you are, because the right person will appreciate you as an individual. It’s important to share your life while still maintaining your own identity.

3. Break Up With Honesty

If you need to end a relationship, be straightforward about it. Don’t play games hoping the other person will break up with you first. Just be honest—it’s healthier for both of you.

4. Avoid Labels

Never call a girl a “psycho” or use derogatory terms like “slut.” Respect her feelings—she had the good sense to like you. And remember, being indirect during a breakup often leads to more hurt feelings.

5. Choose Wisely

Everyone you date will either become an ex or a future spouse. Make your choices thoughtfully.

6. Value Intelligence

Smart girls with a good sense of humor are worth appreciating. Physical attraction is great, but you want someone who can engage with you on a deeper level.

7. Dress Appropriately

For goodness sake, pull up your pants! It’s not just about looking good; it’s about being clean and presentable. If you understood what girls go through, these small requests wouldn’t be a big deal.

8. Understand Consent

“No” means no, and that applies in all situations—even if someone seems willing. Sometimes, people may not be in the right headspace, and it’s essential to respect yourself and them by saying no if it doesn’t feel right.

9. Be Generous

Show your thoughtfulness through small gestures. Whether it’s tipping well or giving thoughtful gifts, it’s the act of giving that counts. A simple gift shows you care and remember important moments.

10. Love Requires Effort

Love isn’t just a feeling; it’s a commitment that requires work. It should be patient and kind, never painful or toxic. If you’re not ready to put in the effort, you’re not ready for a relationship.

11. Take Your Shot

Don’t let fear hold you back from asking someone out. Rejection is better than wondering what could have been. Go for it!

Good luck navigating this new chapter, my dear boy. Just remember to be good—or else!

For more insights on parenting and relationships, check out this blog post. And if you’re considering starting a family, Make A Mom has great resources on home insemination, as does ASRM, which is an excellent source for all things pregnancy.

In summary, teaching my son to navigate dating and relationships is vital as he grows up. From being kind to respecting boundaries, each lesson is aimed at helping him become a thoughtful and loving partner in the future.