8 Things I’m Too Old to Put Up With

You ever reach that point where you just can’t deal with certain things anymore? Yeah, that’s me. Here’s a list of eight things I’m officially too old to put up with.

Wasting My Time

Look, I don’t want to sit through your wedding video. Remember that time I flew across the country, booked a hotel, and brought you a gift? Of course you do! If I feel like reminiscing, I’ll ask to see it myself.

Crowding the Counter

Hey, if you’ve already ordered your food, step aside and let the rest of us order. Trust me, you’ll still get your meal at the same time. No need to block the counter like you’re in a basketball game. Just move over!

Invasion of Personal Space

To the gas station attendant, I intentionally place my hand just below yours when you give me my change. It’s not personal; I just don’t like touching strangers. Let’s keep our hands to ourselves, okay?

Fake Apologies

Do you even know what “disingenuous” means? It’s when you keep apologizing for checking your phone at dinner. Just admit you’d rather be texting than talking to me. Honestly, I’d prefer that over these half-hearted apologies.

Loud Chewing

Tammy, could you please tone down the popcorn crunching? Honestly, I’m considering getting you a feed bag because it’s like half the popcorn ends up flying everywhere. It’s so distracting when I’m trying to enjoy a movie!

Inefficiency

To the guy at Taco Bell who has been at the drive-thru window for five minutes: really? You’ve got to know what you want by now! Taco Bell hasn’t changed their menu in ages, so think ahead, please!

Playing Games

Hey there, friend I haven’t spoken to in ages—if you’re calling to ask for a favor, just get to the point! I’d appreciate it if you’d skip the small talk and be honest about your intentions. I’m much more likely to help out if you’re upfront.

Poor Call Screening

And please, don’t text me “what’s up” right after ignoring my call. Either call me back or commit to your little game of pretending you missed it.

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In summary, as I age, I’m finding less tolerance for these annoying behaviors. It’s all about keeping my peace and surrounding myself with better vibes!