From Single Mom to a Family…With My Manny

home insemination Kit

By: Jamie L. Carter

When I was 39, I found myself unexpectedly pregnant after a whirlwind romance. The father wasn’t interested in being involved, so I made the brave decision to embrace single motherhood, despite my uncertain future as a writer and filmmaker. To complicate matters, I was still holding onto hope that he might come around.

In my daydreams, I envisioned my child being cared for by a dashing Spanish manny. I imagined the benefits: a male role model, exposure to a second language, and let’s be real, a bit of eye candy for me. (In my dreams, he looked like Antonio Banderas.) But when my daughter, Mia, arrived, life took an unexpected turn, and I reconnected with an ex, Ryan, who reached out after a tough breakup.

Knowing Ryan had experience with kids, I invited him to help me out. The timing couldn’t have been better. Mia was just six weeks old, and my roommate, Emily, was headed off for a two-week gig. On the day Ryan arrived, he looked a bit rough around the edges. We spent the morning catching up over tea, exchanging war stories about our past relationships.

When Mia woke up from her nap, I handed her to Ryan. He gently stroked her cheek with his finger as we talked. In the following week, I took on the night shifts with Mia, and by morning, Ryan would step in. I quickly dubbed him the “baby whisperer.” He had a natural way with her—gentle, confident, and nurturing. At a crowded holiday party, he even rescued her from an overly enthusiastic stranger who wanted to “wrap her in a coat and take her home!”

Before long, my feelings for Ryan reignited. Gaining confidence, I finally hugged him goodbye one night and thanked him for his help. He responded, “Thank you for saving my life.”

When Emily returned, I made it clear to Ryan that I didn’t want to be just a rebound. He still had some things to sort out. But in just a few days, Ryan showed me a vision of what our “we” could be—a loving family filled with warmth, laughter, and connection, even without the baby daddy.

We started dating, and soon I landed a full-time job, which meant I needed a manny. Ryan was the ideal choice. From Monday to Friday, he became Mia’s primary caregiver. When I got home, he’d have her settled, allowing me to unwind. He’d share videos of their day together, and when Emily came home, we’d crack open some beers and chat.

On weekends, I relished my time as Mom again, but Ryan was still Mia’s go-to guy. She fit perfectly in the Bjorn he wore, and on the rare occasions she cried, Ryan had a special technique to soothe her.

Before we knew it, Mia was 1.5 years old, and I realized she needed more interaction with other kids. It was time for daycare, and I was ready to move past our employer-employee dynamic so our romantic relationship could thrive.

As fall approached, Emily moved out, and Ryan became a full-time parent. It was blissful. Then, our first little hiccup occurred when Mia started saying “Da-da.” We instinctively corrected her, “No, no. That’s Ryan. Dayyy-yn.” One of my close friends confronted me, saying, “For Mia, Ryan is her dad. Let her be.” I took her advice, and soon I understood that being a father is about love and commitment, not biology. Ryan embraced this and proudly declared, “I’m okay with Mia calling me ‘Daddy.’” Finally, we were in sync.

Back when we first met, Ryan was just casually dating me, while I was completely smitten. If someone had told me that years later we’d be a family, I would’ve thought they were insane. But now, as I snuggle up to Ryan at night, I reflect on life’s unexpected twists and the lack of control we often have.

In the quiet of the night, I sometimes feel a flicker of hope—and dare I say it? Faith. Because I ended up in a place I never knew I wanted, and it means everything to me now.

For more insights on home insemination, check out this resource. If you’re looking into the ins and outs of artificial insemination, Make a Mom is a great place to start. You can also explore Women’s Health for extensive information on pregnancy and related topics.

Summary:

This reflective journey recounts how a single mom’s life unexpectedly transformed when she found love and support in her child’s manny. What began as a challenging situation evolved into a loving family dynamic, showcasing how relationships can grow and redefine what family truly means.