Thinking of Moving to the Suburbs? Brace Yourself for ‘Uber Dad’ Life

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Hey there, friend! So, you’re considering a move to the suburbs? Buckle up, because you might just find yourself stepping into the role of ‘Uber Dad’—whether you like it or not!

I remember a time when my errands involved picking up my mom, cramming five friends into my car, or making those late-night runs to Chinatown for some beef chow fun. Life in the city was exhilarating, especially with my trusty car, which I maneuvered expertly to avoid tickets and break-ins. Whether it was apple picking or driving friends to concerts, I embraced the chaos of city life.

But then came the suburbs. Suddenly, I found myself driving to the mailbox, heading to the gym just to walk on a treadmill, and making 10-minute trips just to borrow a cup of sugar. The miles piled up, and I was surprised at how quickly life seemed to zip by.

At first, the picturesque tree-lined streets and speed bumps felt charming. But after navigating those bumps multiple times a day—picking up the kids, shuttling them to school, and racing to soccer practice—charm turned into a daily grind.

“Hey, Dad, can you grab me after practice at 5, then drop Julie off at home? Oh, and can we stop by Staples for index cards? I’m craving Panera for dinner too—definitely the Frontega Chicken!”

It never ends! One kid turns into two, then three, and suddenly you’re waving to other parents as you all juggle drop-offs and pick-ups. Forget cozy evenings on the couch; you’re now a road warrior, battling traffic and time for kids who are teetering on the edge of teenagerhood.

I take pride in being a good dad, but when did I sign up to be Uber Dad? Was it written in the small print of my kid’s birth certificate? A lifelong commitment to be on speed dial whenever they need a ride?

With everything they need just a text away, it feels like I’m expected to be there in an instant. Forget conference calls; I can handle those from the front seat of my car on the way to school. It’s multitasking, suburban-style.

I admit it—I raised my kids in a place where sidewalks are a luxury. I wanted lush greenery and fresh air, but instead, I traded city congestion for constant trips to the gas station, filling my hours by filling up my car.

I’ve unwittingly taught my kids that every journey begins and ends at home. Weekend tournaments? Just a quick drive on the Interstate! Movie nights? Parents can always watch Netflix at home.

And let’s talk about those other parents who duck out of the suburban carpool. You know the ones—dropping their kids off without so much as a wave, just so they can rush off to some local wine bar. “Oh, Haley’s mom can’t drive today,” or “Her dad’s out of town.” It’s like they think, “Why should I help when Uber Dad is on the way?”

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In summary, moving to the suburbs might come with unexpected challenges, like becoming a full-time chauffeur for your kids. Embrace the chaos, and remember—it’s all part of the ride!