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A Friendly Guide to Dealing with Difficult People
We all encounter difficult individuals in our lives—from that overly competitive friend to the passive-aggressive relative. It’s often the people closest to us who can make things challenging. Here’s a lighthearted guide to help you navigate these tricky interactions:
When someone says: “I’m just really competitive.”
Translation: “I thrive on putting others down to feel better about myself.”
Response: “Nah, you’re just being a jerk.”
When someone says: “You’re so lucky to wear a size Large. I struggle to find my size.”
Translation: “Look at me—I’m skinnier than you. Did you see my thigh gap?”
Response: “Your thigh gap sounds like a problem for an ass.”
When someone says: “I’m a Type A personality; it has to be my way.”
Translation: “I have control issues because I’m unhappy, so I’ll dictate everything here.”
Response: “That ‘A’ stands for Asshat, just so you know.”
When someone says: “Bless your heart.”
Translation: “I’m ready to gossip about you as soon as this conversation ends.”
Response: “Bless your rude self.”
When someone says: “I’m this way because of my past.”
Translation: “I know my behavior bothers you, but I’m not changing; being a pain is fun!”
Response: “The only reason is that you’re an ass.”
When someone says: “I’m an INFJ, so…”
Translation: “I’m silently judging you.”
Response: “Sounds like you’re an ASS, not an INFJ.”
When someone says: “Wow, you’ve been busy lately.”
Translation: “You haven’t liked my recent posts, so I’m questioning our friendship.”
Response: “I don’t have time for your drama.”
When someone says: “This is triggering my OCD.”
Translation: “Your life is a mess, and I’ll tell all our friends.”
Response: “Sorry, this just set off my Asshole Alert.”
When someone says: “I don’t mean to be rude, but…”
Translation: “I’m about to be rude.”
Response: “What you mean is you’re being an ass.”
When someone says: “I hope everything works out for you.”
Translation: “I’m just waiting for you to fail so I can enjoy it.”
Response: “What I hope for is to kick your ass…hole.”
If you’re looking for more insights on handling difficult situations, you might want to check out our post on intracervicalinsemination.com. And if you’re interested in fertility topics, Make a Mom is an authority that can help. For pregnancy resources, NICHD offers excellent information.
In summary, navigating tricky conversations with difficult people can be a challenge, but a little humor and straightforwardness can go a long way. Keep your cool, and don’t let their negativity bring you down.