By: Sofia Rivera
My mom, Elena, came to New York City from Mexico at just 15 years old. It was the late 1960s, and her family was escaping a tumultuous political climate back home. With her father being a skilled tailor and a rebel at heart, they sought a better life, hoping that the safety here would wipe away the scars of their past. But my mother didn’t just want to survive; she was determined to thrive for herself and her future children.
Let me tell you, having a Latina mom who embodies that fierce “tiger” spirit is no walk in the park. We clashed heads more times than I can count, and she once told me, “I could never break you,” which, believe it or not, I took as a compliment. Even though her formal education ended with a G.E.D., Elena was a master strategist. She was all about preparing her kids to fully embrace life.
A decade after her passing from cancer, I’m still working on a book filled with her wisdom. In the meantime, here’s a glimpse of her best life lessons as a heartfelt tribute to this incredible woman:
- “Are you an ‘A’ or a ‘B’?”
When report cards came out, anything less than an “A” wasn’t acceptable. If I ever brought home a “B,” she’d sassily say, “If you think you’re a B, be a B. If you think you’re an A, be an A.” This wasn’t just about grades; it was her way of teaching me that we create our own realities. - “Was there a gun to your head?!”
Elena often referenced my grandfather’s harrowing experiences, reminding me that we always have choices. Even when faced with tough decisions, understanding that we’re in control empowers us to be the architects of our own lives. - “White people don’t have a monopoly on speaking well.”
After moving from Harlem to rural New Hampshire, I faced some teasing for “talking white.” My mom reinforced that we could rise above these stereotypes and strive for excellence, no matter where we came from. - “You’re your only competition.”
Elena detested any hint of envy I showed toward others. She believed that comparing ourselves to others was pointless. “You can’t change them; you can only change yourself,” she said, and I took that to heart. - “Everything is temporary.”
Whenever I sulked about setbacks, my mother would remind me, “You think I got here in one day?!” Patience was key, and she taught me to keep moving forward. - “So what if you scrub toilets?”
She instilled in me the dignity of work. No job was beneath us, and hard work was just a stepping stone to greater things. - “You never know who will be your boss someday.”
Her advice about treating everyone with respect stuck with me. From the janitor to the CEO, every person deserves kindness, and you never know where life might lead you or who might help you along the way. - “You never know who will see you.”
Elena believed in putting our best foot forward, emphasizing that presentation can break down barriers, especially for women of color. - “They can take everything from you, but they can’t take your education.”
She understood that knowledge is power, and once you have it, no one can take it away from you. - “You want to know what happens when you do that?”
Her stories, whether funny or grim, combined humor and life lessons. They reminded me of the fortune of my upbringing compared to hers—no scorpions hiding in my laundry!
This is just a slice of what my mom taught me, and her lessons resonate deeply in my life. If you’re navigating the complexities of parenting or life choices, check out this article on home insemination for some more insights. And for those looking to boost their fertility knowledge, Make a Mom has great resources too. Also, don’t forget to explore Progyny for additional support on all things pregnancy and family planning.
Summary:
Elena, my formidable Latina mother, imparted invaluable life lessons rooted in resilience, self-agency, and dignity. From emphasizing the importance of education to reminding us that everything is temporary, her wisdom continues to shape my life.