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I’m a Mom Who Doesn’t Own a Smartphone
I’m just a regular mom, flip phone in hand, asking for a little love and understanding. I can already guess what’s running through your mind. Yes, I reside near Lancaster, Pennsylvania, but no, I’m not Amish. I happen to know plenty of Anabaptists who are probably off buying the latest Apple Watch while their horse-drawn buggies sit idle.
Sure, the Amish keep their phones stashed away in the barn instead of bringing them home. But honestly, those plain folks have some pretty slick gadgets. Picture me, on my flip phone, trying to call a construction company run by the Amish:
Me: Hi there! I’d like to get a shed built in my backyard.
Mr. Miller: Sure thing! We’re in the middle of a project. Can you text me the shed dimensions?
Me: Oh, I’m not great at texting. Would it be okay to email you instead?
Mr. Miller: Email? Nah, no one here does that anymore. My aunt in Ohio might, but she’s a bit old school.
My flip phone does have some basic texting features. With enough patience (and a few choice words), I can manage to type out messages like “Whem r u goimg tm be hme?” or “thnx fr te brTHDYm eSSAG!!!%%.” But when my phone dings with a new message, I get all sweaty and nervous. Will it lead to more questions? What if I need to send an address and have to type numbers? The thought of still fumbling with my flip phone in my golden years makes me cringe.
You might wonder, “What’s your deal? Are you just not good with technology?” Sure, call me a doofus—no hard feelings. My flip phone obsession started because, let’s face it, smartphones are pricey! Even if you snag one for free, the monthly service isn’t. With three kids who all think they deserve fancy devices (even if they scoff at my flip phone), I’d end up choosing between paying for a smartphone or covering essentials like heat and running water.
Now, I know you might have some budget-friendly smartphone plans to share. I’m listening, I promise! But truth be told, I can’t keep up with all the ways people want to reach me. Some text, some leave voicemails, and others message me on social media. Then there are those who grab me in the school lobby and launch into a lengthy spiel about fundraising events, leaving me dazed and zoning out after the first few sentences.
So, I’ve learned to be straightforward: “I’m a bit of a doofus and have a terrible memory. Instead of texting, could you email me this info? I promise to read it when I’m not having a panic attack.” Surprisingly, most people are understanding (though the Amish construction worker is the exception).
Another reason I avoid splurging on a smartphone is my remarkable talent for disasters. Every year, I manage to drop my phone in a creek while hiking, run over it with my car, or somehow launch it across a parking lot, where it explodes like a confetti celebration of my clumsiness. That’s a lot easier to accept when the phone only costs $9.
Despite my tech struggles, I’m definitely a screen junkie. Having a flip phone ensures that I spend part of my day unplugged, looking around at the world instead of staring at a screen. Trust me, I don’t need any tech to help me trip over my own two feet!
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In summary, being a mom without a smartphone might sound antiquated, but it allows me to embrace life without the constant digital distractions. Plus, it saves me a bit of cash!