Despite Our 15-Year Age Difference, My Husband and I Share the Same Generation

“You remember that?” Jake asks, raising an eyebrow. “We’re definitely from the same generation.”

This topic comes up often in our home. My husband was born in 1965, while I came into the world in 1980. Some might say that makes him a late Boomer and me an early Millennial, but we both proudly identify as Gen X. Our age difference isn’t so vast that it separates us from shared cultural experiences. My husband doesn’t feel like he belongs to the same era as my parents, and I certainly don’t relate to our Millennial nieces and nephews or my Millennial siblings.

When we reminisce about our shared cultural references, it’s not just to reassure him that he’s not a cradle robber or to ease my anxieties about eventually caring for an aging spouse alongside my aging parents (I save those thoughts for my midnight worry sessions). It’s also a reminder that we grew up during a time that shaped us both in similar ways. Here are five reasons we feel like we’re from the same generation:

1) The Fear of Nuclear War

We both lived with the fear of nuclear war. While the Cold War didn’t hang as heavily over our childhoods as it did for my parents, we still felt its weight. Jake recalls feeling uneasy when Reagan jokingly mentioned bombing Russia. I, on the other hand, was convinced that one day he would impulsively press “the red button,” starting World War III. My brother, who was born in 1985, was convinced he was a Russian spy disguised as an infant—something that wouldn’t even cross the minds of younger generations.

2) The Aftermath of the Vietnam War

We grew up in the aftermath of the Vietnam War, listening to stories from our fathers about dodging the draft. Jake’s father, a Republican doctor, managed to avoid service due to his essential role in a rural community. My stepdad and father, both California hippies, protested the war and were lucky enough to escape it. We’re a generation removed from that conflict, unlike the Boomers we know.

3) The AIDS Crisis

We both entered the dating scene during the AIDS crisis, which instilled a sense of terror in us as teens. We remember getting tested before becoming serious with a partner—not just to check for STDs but with a specific fear of HIV. The thought of infidelity felt like a potential death sentence back then, with haunting images of the disease’s impact. Millennials today don’t share that same level of fear, thanks to medical advances and better awareness.

4) Shared Pop Culture

We both enjoyed shows like Three’s Company and jammed out to bands like The Cure and Duran Duran. We fondly remember the excitement of REM’s album Automatic for the People being released on a cool, transparent yellow cassette tape. Even before we met, our pop culture experiences were intertwined.

5) The Transition from Typewriters to Computers

We both typed out research papers on typewriters before transitioning to computers. Neither of us had access to the internet (yes, the “World Wide Web”) until after high school and didn’t own cell phones until after college. I still chuckle at the time when one of my housemates suggested getting a shared cell phone, and we all laughed it off as unnecessary. These days, we might need to lean on our Millennial siblings for tech support, but we’re more tech-savvy than our parents.

So yes, there’s a 15-year gap between us, but our shared experiences make it feel less significant. Well, until the day comes when his memory starts to fade. But that’s a worry for another time, right?

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In summary, despite our age difference, my husband and I share enough cultural experiences to feel connected across generations. Our fears, memories, and pop culture references bridge the gap, making our relationship feel more like a partnership among equals.