Surviving Post-Traumatic Lice Disorder: Practical Tips for Keeping Your Family Lice-Free

Dealing with lice is right up there with major life events like divorce or losing a loved one on the trauma scale. The immediate chaos is intense, upending your family’s calm like a mobile home caught in a Texas twister. Expect some stuffed animals to end up in the trash, washing machines may reach their breaking point, and parents? Well, they might just lose it.

But once the initial frenzy calms down, there’s something lurking in the background: the long-term effects of what I like to call Post-Traumatic Lice Disorder (PTLD). Unfortunately, there’s no cure for this condition.

About five years ago, when my daughter was in third grade, she came home from school with an awful infestation of head lice—only I didn’t realize it for weeks. In my defense, my daughter has thick, wavy hair that falls to her waist; spotting anything in there was nearly impossible. And yes, I might be over 40 and I might have misplaced my reading glasses. I only discovered the issue one fateful day when I decided to blow-dry her hair instead of letting it air dry.

The sight of countless bugs flying out of her hair from the heat is something I’ll never forget.

Thus began a nightmarish six weeks filled with all sorts of chaos: chopping her hair to chin length, washing loads of bedding in hot bleach daily, steam cleaning every upholstered surface, sealing beloved toys in garbage bags, and trying every treatment imaginable. My nights were spent awake, imagining lice crawling through my own hair. (I bet you’re itching just reading this!)

What I didn’t expect were the long-lasting effects of PTLD. You start seeing imaginary bugs everywhere and do everything possible to keep them from invading your family again. Some may call it obsessive; I prefer to think of it as taking serious precautions. Here are some of my go-to strategies:

Mandatory Hoodies

Whenever you go to the movies or board a plane, bring a hoodie. Who cares if it’s 106 degrees outside? Just throw that hoodie over the back of your seat to prevent any hair from touching the upholstery. Panic if hoodies ever go out of style.

Public Seating

You can’t always predict when you’ll encounter upholstered furniture, so if you forget your hoodie, sit up straight and avoid leaning back. If someone suggests you relax, just tell them you’re committed to Jane Austen’s ideals of proper posture.

Coat and Backpack Separation

In any group setting, kids’ coats and backpacks end up in a pile on the floor. Just imagine those little bugs having a party in there. Teach your kids to keep their belongings separate from others.

Preventive Products

There’s a line of natural products called Fairy Tales that claims to ward off future lice invasions. They smell nice and leave hair feeling soft. Whether or not they work is debatable, but why take the chance when it comes to lice?

Trying on Hats

This is risky behavior, akin to rolling the dice in Vegas. When you or your kid tries on a hat at a store, remember: you’re not just trying on a hat, you’re entering a potential lice breeding ground. Do yourself a favor and grab a steam cleaner and nit comb on the way home.

Even if your friends and family know about your PTLD, don’t expect understanding.

When a friend mentioned that her daughter frequently deals with lice, I practically shot off her couch like a missile. My relaxed friend suggested I try a new product called Licefreee! (yes, it even has an exclamation point). “We use it whenever we have a problem,” she said casually.

A few summers ago, my ex-husband took my daughter to a crowded street fair, where they posed in a photo booth wearing hats provided by the vendor. My heart sank when I saw the pictures. I think I blacked out for a moment before rushing back to the store for more Licefreee!

The key takeaway for those who’ve survived a lice invasion? Perspective. It’s not the end of the world, and there are far worse things that can happen to a family. Just remind yourself of this as you spray down your kids’ sleeping bags and clothes with anti-lice products before summer camp. And don’t forget those hoodies!

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In summary, lice can be a nightmare, but with a few simple strategies and a good dose of perspective, you can keep your family safe and lice-free.