Once your kid starts elementary school, they instantly become familiar with the ‘Box Top’ phenomenon. I’m convinced that on the first day, the teacher introduces herself, assigns desks, and then immediately drills into the kids the significance of those little cardboard squares!
“Mom! It helps our school!”
“Box Tops are funding our new gym!”
“Box Tops will take us to Sea World!!”
“Box Tops CAN SAVE THE WORLD!!”
These are just a few of the exaggerated claims my little one has shouted while we browse the grocery store aisles.
Now, before you label me as that mom who doesn’t care about her child’s school (okay, maybe I am that mom sometimes, but I do care), let me explain. My daughter has a strange skin condition that no doctor seems to understand. I’ve dropped a ton of cash trying to find a solution through conventional and alternative medicine.
Essential oils? Check. Steroid creams? Check. Blood tests? Check. Food allergies? Check!
However, have you ever tried to find Box Tops on organic products? I’ve searched every store and found them on maybe four organic items. The one thing that seems to work for my little scratchy kid is sticking to an organic diet. It’s annoying, pricey, and frustrating. But hey, she’s my daughter, and I want her to be comfortable, so organic it is for us.
Organic = No Box Tops
No Box Tops = EVIL MOM WHO DOESN’T WANT HER KID TO GO TO SEA WORLD!
Honestly, I feel like General Mills and Sea World have teamed up against me. It’s like Sea World knew I’d never return after watching Blackfish, so they launched a campaign against me using Box Tops.
To avoid being a complete jerk, I’ve started making trips to Costco to buy items that come with Box Tops but won’t make my kid’s skin erupt — like Ziploc bags. Each Costco trip, we stockpile enough Ziploc bags to hold about 6,000 sandwiches and destroy the boxes as soon as we get home. My daughter then has her 12 Box Tops to take to school, and peace is restored. If there’s ever a shortage of Ziploc bags, just call me; I’ve got enough to supply the entire country for a few years.
Recently, though, I’ve run out of space for all these flattened Ziploc bag boxes. So, I’ve started hunting for Box Tops on eBay! Yes, I’m brilliant. Right now, I’m in a bidding war for 500 Box Tops. I’m currently leading with a bid of $42.
After placing my highest bid on these cardboard treasures, I decided to find out what each Box Top is worth.
TEN CENTS.
Seriously, TEN. CENTS.
If I had known that each Box Top I’ve been buying into only equals a dime, I’d just hand my kid a handful of change every time we walked by a cereal box. Honestly, wouldn’t that be easier?
Since I lost out to BoxTopMom4310 on eBay, I’m taking my emergency twenty-dollar bill from my wallet and heading to the bank to get 200 dimes. That should cover me for at least a year. After all, that’s 200 Box Tops!
For more on parenting and the challenges we face, check out this other blog post here. If you’re curious about at-home insemination methods, I found this great resource at Make a Mom. Additionally, for support on female infertility, this site has excellent information.
In summary, navigating the world of Box Tops while trying to support my child’s school and her health is quite the juggling act. But hey, I’m doing my best in this parenting game, and I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling this way!