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What I Discovered About Competition Through My Partner’s Former Flame
I was lounging on the couch, catching up on reruns of NCIS—nothing too demanding—when one of the characters, Abby, said to Gibbs, “Good women know it’s fine to share the throne.” I paused, taken aback. Abby was suggesting that women could celebrate each other’s successes. Hmm, that made me rethink my usual viewing habits. It’s not often we see this kind of positivity in pop culture; usually, it’s filled with snark, rivalry, and drama. I appreciated the portrayal of strong, witty women genuinely uplifting one another, which reminded me of a conversation I once had with my boyfriend’s ex.
Let me introduce you to Mia, a striking woman with glossy dark hair and stunning, wide-set green eyes. Not only was she a talented mathematician, but she also had a passion for art. Meanwhile, I was working at a shelter for women in need, armed with my own set of accomplishments. Here we were, two impressive women navigating a tricky situation with grace because we both respected the power of female solidarity.
During our chat, Mia mentioned one of her students had won a fellowship to study in Italy for a year. Without thinking, I blurted out that I felt a twinge of envy. Mia, raising her wine glass like a trophy, exclaimed, “No! We should celebrate her achievement. When one of us shines, we all shine!” I had never encountered such a clear expression of feminism before. While I didn’t harbor any negativity toward the student, Mia’s words struck a chord: every time one of us succeeds, it paves the way for all of us. When we tear each other down, we all lose. We disrupt the supportive network we could be building.
We often grow up competing—for the best job, the perfect partner, the ideal body, and even the “right” way to parent. In this endless race, we criticize each other’s life choices, whether it’s about being single, married, a mom, or child-free. Amidst this back-and-forth, we forget that we’re all just trying to find happiness in our unique lives. Every choice we make can bring joy but also moments of struggle. Imagine how much easier it would be if we felt encouragement instead of judgment from the women around us.
Today, my fourth great-niece was welcomed into the world, and I hope for her sake—along with all the girls growing up today—that we can foster a more nurturing and supportive culture. Let’s choose to turn away from the shows that depict toxic behavior among women and create better opportunities for the next generation. As aunts, mothers, sisters, and friends, we should lead by example, showing the kindness and support they deserve, so we can all truly thrive together.
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Summary
The article discusses the importance of female solidarity over competition, inspired by a conversation with a boyfriend’s ex. It emphasizes that women’s successes should be celebrated collectively rather than viewed as threats. The author hopes for a more nurturing culture for future generations of women, advocating for support and encouragement instead of rivalry.