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What I Hear vs. What They Say
What I hear: …before breakfast.
What they say: “Never go to bed upset.”
What I hear: …at yourself. Sure, you can be mad at him; he was probably being a jerk.
What they say: “Aim for 5 servings of fruits and veggies daily.”
What I hear: …as a family. Let’s avoid going overboard.
What they say: “When one door closes…”
What I hear: …there’s a child on the other side asking for something.
What they say: “Dance like no one’s watching.”
What I hear: …unless it’s Ryan Gosling—then, you better bring your A-game.
What they say: “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
What I hear: …or it strengthens your wine habit.
What they say: “Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”
What I hear: …time for a binge-watch marathon.
What they say: “5-Second Rule.”
What I hear: …it’s totally fine for your kid to eat something off the floor five seconds after he finds it, regardless of how long it’s actually been there.
What they say: “Happy wife, happy…”
What I hear: …midlife crisis.
What they say: “Choose organic.”
What I hear: …like the stuff that naturally lives in your pantry, you know, like Cheetos and Nutella.
What they say: “Get 30 minutes of cardio a day.”
What I hear: …or just move the decimal and make it 3.0 minutes.
What they say: “Life is like a box of chocolates.”
What I hear: …messy, melted chocolate all over the minivan floor.
What they say: “Don’t sweat the small stuff.”
What I hear: …only sweat the big stuff, and the little stuff, at the same time. Usually at 3 a.m.
What they say: “Take the road less traveled.”
What I hear: …and then hide there. Bring a pillow, you might need a nap.
What they say: “Always aim for at least 8 hours of sleep.”
What I hear: …per week.
What they say: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
What I hear: …and don’t forget the vodka.
What they say: “Pick your battles.”
What I hear: …only go for the ones you can win, and then fight like a champ.
What they say: “Drink eight 8-oz. glasses of water daily.”
What I hear: …and then calculate how often you pee and report it as a fraction using Common Core math principles.
What they say: “40 is fabulous.”
What I hear: …compared to 80.
What they say: “Go big or go home.”
What I hear: …definitely go big, because home is loud and messy.
So, next time you hear some “sage advice,” remember that the interpretation might be a bit different in the chaos of parenting. And if you’re considering home insemination, check out this post on intracervical insemination. For more insights, you can visit Make A Mom for expert tips, and March of Dimes is an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.