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A Woman’s Guide to Mansplaining
I’ve seen plenty of discussions about how the term “mansplaining” has been misused over time—some say it’s too vague while others argue it’s not broad enough. Honestly, it all feels a bit too academic for most of us. We don’t have time to sit in a lecture hall debating why feminism, pop culture, or the Internet seems to mess everything up. Regardless of how some folks feel about the word itself, the concept behind it remains important, even if it’s hard to pin down.
In short, mansplaining occurs when a man, intentionally or not, assumes a woman needs something explained to her when she really doesn’t. There’s a condescending side, a clueless side, and even one that’s overtly sexist. Not every mansplainer is a jerk, but some definitely fit the bill. It’s a term that captures a wide range of experiences, all tied together by women’s collective eye rolls.
The other day, I was at an event typing poems on the spot when a guy approached my female coworker asking for a poem about a famous politician. Instead of just making a suggestion, he went into a long-winded explanation about who he was. At another event, a man didn’t want me to write him a poem about a popular sci-fi film, suggesting that I wouldn’t understand it because of my gender. These are nice guys who don’t realize how off-base they are, yet they get defensive when we gently point out that women do have an understanding of the world.
So, here’s a little guide for those moments when you, my fabulous friends, encounter guys who just can’t help themselves. And for the times they try to explain why they’re not being patronizing at all.
Example 1
You ask your friends for book recommendations and a guy starts giving you a history lesson on literature.
MANSPLAINER: “I wasn’t being condescending. You asked for suggestions!”
YOU: “What you offered wasn’t a suggestion; it was an implication that I need a lesson on reading. A real suggestion would be, ‘Here’s a book I loved—maybe you will too!’”
Example 2
You’re discussing mansplaining with a friend and a guy interrupts.
MAN: “But women can over-explain things too! I know how a diaper works!”
YOU: “Sure, anyone can be condescending, but women face this type of communication constantly. There’s a deeper issue of institutional sexism at play here. Womansplaining just isn’t a thing.”
Example 3
A guy feels hurt because you called him out on his mansplaining.
MAN: “I wasn’t trying to imply you know less! I was just trying to help!”
YOU: “That’s sweet, but I didn’t ask for help. Your assumption that I lack knowledge reinforces the outdated notion that women are less capable. It’s a pattern that leads to women earning less and struggling for recognition.”
Example 4
A guy rolls his eyes, tired of your perspective.
MANSPLAINER: “If you’d just relax, you’d see we’re trying to be helpful.”
YOU: [Resist the urge to punch him in the face, which could lead to a messy situation involving police and a viral mugshot!]
So there you go! Use this guide whenever you find yourself facing these situations. You’ve got this!
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Summary:
Mansplaining is when men assume women need explanations they didn’t ask for. This guide provides examples of how to respond when faced with such situations, emphasizing the importance of recognizing underlying sexism.