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Why I’m Not Ready for My Kids to Join Social Media
Recently, I had a chat with a friend, and she mentioned that her 10-year-old son has an Instagram account. Since we usually align on parenting choices, I was taken aback. When I asked her about it, she assured me that she has rules and privacy measures to keep him safe. She’s had talks with him about what’s appropriate to share online and feels confident in his ability to navigate social media responsibly.
Well, sorry, but I just can’t get on board with letting kids under 13 dive into social media. I know, I know—I’m old-school. As a parent to a tween and a teen, I understand how challenging it is to be the one who says no to platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and others that kids seem to flock to. I’ve had my share of discussions about online safety, texting manners, and making smart choices regarding tech. And while I believe my kids won’t act like fools online, I still feel strongly about keeping them off social media for now.
I’ve talked to several parents who think I’m being too hard on my kids. They argue that with parental controls, social media can be a learning tool—an opportunity to guide them as they figure things out. “Just make sure you’re friends on Facebook!” they suggest, or “I follow her account so she knows I’m watching.” They remind me that my kids might miss out on social interactions and urge me to loosen my grip.
But honestly? No way. Even though I can secure my kids’ accounts and keep their online presence safe, I know exactly what I post on my social media, and I’d rather not have them—or your 11-year-old—seeing my adult content. My 10-year-old doesn’t need to stumble upon those questionable vacation selfies or the silly memes that aren’t age-appropriate. It’s too much for her, plain and simple, and I’m not comfortable with the unrestricted nature of platforms like Instagram.
I’m an adult who enjoys some colorful language, inappropriate jokes, and the occasional snarky post. I vent about my kids on Facebook, share humorous memes, and let off steam in a way that’s not meant for young eyes. I don’t want to censor my online life just so your child can scroll through my posts. I have no intention of accepting your kid’s friend request to monitor what they’re doing or to keep tabs on their online behavior, which would only lead to awkward conversations later.
Can we all agree that I shouldn’t be involved in your child’s social media landscape? I may sound harsh, but I can’t take on the responsibility of filtering my online presence so your kid can stay blissfully unaware of the realities of adulthood. I enjoy sharing thoughts and experiences with my grown-up friends and don’t need to change that dynamic for kids.
I share pictures of cocktails and maybe even a slightly tipsy moment or two. Do you really want to explain why I’m dancing on a countertop in a pink boa? I thought not. And please don’t lecture me about responsible sharing; my adult friends get it, and we all navigate these waters together.
I’ve built a community online where I can truly be myself among other parents. I’ve shared my parenting journey and have had friends’ kids follow my accounts, but if a parent doesn’t take their child off my list, I won’t hesitate to block them. This is not a family-friendly show.
At the end of the day, I don’t need any more interactions with school-aged kids beyond what’s necessary. I can’t even find a minute alone, but I do need a space where I can vent about it without worry. So, when your kid sends me a friend request, just know I’ll likely hit “decline” repeatedly.
In summary, while some parents believe social media can help teach kids, I firmly stand by my choice to keep my children off these platforms until they’re older. I value my adult space online too much to compromise it for the sake of someone else’s child.
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