Things I’m Still Struggling With in My Forties: A to Z

home insemination Kit

There’s this popular belief floating around about relationships: if you don’t give in to bad behavior, it’ll eventually change. We’ve all heard the advice—“Don’t give in to your toddler’s tantrum!” or “Don’t fake an orgasm for that guy who’s not impressing you!” This is the kind of thing we cling to when we’re young or just starting a relationship, full of hope and determined to avoid disappointing long-term commitments. We think, “If I just manage things the right way, everything will fall into place.”

But let’s be real—some partners are just not great in bed, certain relatives will guilt-trip you no matter what, and toddlers are going to have their meltdowns. There are valid reasons to set boundaries, but believing we can fundamentally change someone is a bit of a stretch.

Maybe we cling to this myth to distract ourselves from our own shortcomings. I remember in elementary school, I would forget signed permission slips at home and miss out on school trips. “Next time, I’ll remember,” I’d reassure myself while doodling in my notebook. But just the other day, I found a stack of thank-you notes that had been written, addressed, and stamped but never sent—five years later.

So, here’s my A to Z list of things I still can’t quite get the hang of, despite all the effort, practice, and the occasional embarrassing consequence.

• Anything involving a calendar
• Birthday cards—getting them
• Conferences & Parent/Teacher meetings—attending (even after all the planning!)
• Doctor visits
• Every ball sport—just a total fail.
• Fall coats—always forgetting to buy them.
• Grocery lists—what are those again?
• Hair maintenance—it’s a mystery.
• Insurance companies—dealing with them is like a full-time job.
• Just making appointments—why is it such a hassle?
• Kids’ social activities—coordinating them is like herding cats.
• Long grain rice—how do I burn it every time?
• Moisturizing—it’s on my list, I swear!
• Not spilling—how is this so hard?
• Oral instructions—giving or following, it’s a mess.
• Period—when will it show up?
• Quick name recall—I’m just terrible at this.
• Routines—I can’t stick to them, especially when they change.
• Shoes—wearing them properly (like that time I was barefoot in midtown Manhattan at 8:30 a.m.!)
• Turning off utilities—totally forgot.
• Umbrella—always leaving it behind.
• Voicemail—how do I forget to check it?
• Weather—never checking before I leave the house.
• Tax forms—Real Estate Transfer Tax? What’s that again? I found it under my bed, along with my teaching supplies. Go figure!
• Yesterday’s emails—marked as “read” but completely forgotten.
• Zzzz—any kind of meeting, I mean, who doesn’t struggle with that?

No one is perfect, no matter how hard we try or how many strategies we employ. We all get that, but maybe true adulthood is recognizing these flaws without letting them define our abilities. I once thought that being in my forties meant having everything sorted out. Now, I’m starting to realize it just means I’ve accepted that managing paper, umbrellas, and all those other little things might not be my strong suit.

If you want to dive deeper into relationships and parenting, check out some of our other blog posts, like this one on privacy policies, or learn more about fertility resources from experts like Make a Mom and Progyny.

In summary, we all have our struggles, especially when it comes to organizing life in our forties. It’s all about accepting those quirks and imperfections while still trying to be the best version of ourselves.