The Period Conversation I’m Grateful I Had With My Daughter

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So there we were—my 11-year-old daughter and I—sitting together in her elementary school lunchroom, both dressed in our pajamas, the delightful aroma of freshly delivered pizza filling the space. Around us were about 30 excited fifth-grade girls and their equally apprehensive parents. The event, aptly named “Girls Night Out,” was designed to provide information on the journey of growing up and the changes that come with it. If you’re a parent, you probably know this moment as “the talk,” that challenging realization that your little one is stepping into the whirlwind of adolescence.

You might be wondering why I, a dad, was attending an event primarily for girls and their mothers? Well, my daughter asked me to join her. If she trusts me enough to invite me to this potentially awkward situation, then I want to nurture that trust. It’s vital for keeping our lines of communication open as she grows.

As more mothers and daughters settled in, I could feel the curious glances directed my way. Normally, I might have felt a bit out of place, but that night, I was there to support my daughter. After an awkward icebreaker where we quizzed each other on the female menstrual cycle, we watched a video that seemed straight out of the 1980s. The characters awkwardly discussed everything from body changes to how the reproductive system works, and nervous giggles from the girls filled the air, adding to the tension.

When it was time for questions, some girls bravely spoke up, while others opted for the anonymity of note cards. Their inquiries were honest and filled with curiosity about what lay ahead. Despite the giggles, these young girls handled the conversation with impressive bravery.

The adults, however, had a different reaction. Many were blushing, whispering, or shifting in their seats as if they’d rather be anywhere else than discussing puberty and menstruation in an elementary school lunchroom. That’s when I decided it was time to speak up—for my daughter’s sake.

I explained that if I treated these topics like they were taboo, why would she feel comfortable discussing them with me? I wanted her to know that periods are a normal part of life. So, I shared some facts, like how much blood a girl might lose and how long a typical cycle lasts. I reassured her that feeling annoyed with family and friends before getting her period is completely normal. I even told her that she could get her period as soon as tomorrow or years from now, but no matter when it happens, she’s totally normal.

I promised her that I’d always be available to help her with anything she might need—like picking up tampons or pads. I also reminded her that when she’s ready to date, any boy worth her time will respect her and not feel ashamed about being with a girl who has a working uterus.

It’s about time fathers became more involved in helping their daughters embrace who they are. We need to stop treating conversations about menstruation and puberty like they’re something to be embarrassed about. It’s crucial that we support our daughters, and all girls and women, making them feel valued and accepted for the wonderful individuals they are.

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In short, having open conversations about puberty helps foster trust and ensures that our daughters feel comfortable discussing their bodies and health with us.