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The 9 Levels of Girls’ Clothing Chaos: A Parent’s Guide
So, before your teenage daughter starts rolling her eyes and insisting she’ll only wear trendy brands, enjoy the brief period where you get to make the fashion calls. Embrace this limited time of having a say in her wardrobe choices!
As a parent of a girl, the first clothing question you’ll likely face is: “Do I care if people think my newborn is a boy, girl, or some fuzzy mystery creature?” Welcome to…
Level 1: The Discomfort Zone for Infants
If you can’t stand the idea of someone mistaking your little girl for a boy, you’ll start her gender identity journey by adorning her head with a frilly lace headband, complete with silk flowers. You’ll squeeze her into ruffled tights and cute little dresses, only to wonder why she’s fussy and gassy. It’ll hit you: if someone were squeezing your head with a tight band and restricting your tummy while scratchy fabric choked your neck, you’d be cranky too.
Level 2: The Pink Paradigm
At this point, you’ve stopped caring about what others think of your daughter’s itchy, ruffled outfits. Now imagine sending her off to preschool in camo pants and a black tee—no embellishments, no frills, just solid colors. If you dress her in anything but pastel, you risk being labeled colorblind or, worse, a radical trying to make a statement.
Level 3: The Scanty Selection
No one should make a second grader feel bad about her clothing choices. But as girls move closer to middle school, the styles get skimpier. You’ll find shorts that barely qualify as shorts and tops that are cut way too low. If you want decent girls’ clothing that doesn’t attract unwanted attention from strange adults, you’ll have to search specialty stores or dig through your mom’s box of old clothes from the ‘70s.
Level 4: Body Parts on Display
Should a girl be able to wear a miniskirt without receiving unwanted attention? Absolutely! But as a parent, you’ll worry that a crop top might send the wrong signal to someone. “She was asking for it” is a phrase we should eliminate. I hope for a day when every woman can walk freely, regardless of what she’s wearing. Until then, I’m cautious about what my young daughters wear, as they shouldn’t have to deal with this nonsense.
Level 5: The Great Hair Tie Hunt
Hair elastics are like cockroaches—wherever you don’t want them, they’ll be hiding, but when you need one, it’s nowhere to be found. Have you thought about giving your daughter a pixie cut? Just a thought!
Level 6: From Supportive Shoes to Foot Fashion Fails
You’ll spend hours reading about the best shoe choices for your toddler, only to find yourself picking out sneakers for your sixth grader based on Instagram photos shared by her friends.
Level 7: The Stinky Sportswear Situation
If you think only teenage boys can create a stench from their activewear, think again. Girls can produce some seriously questionable odors too!
Level 8: Dressing for Aunt Tilly’s Tea
You love your teenage daughter’s unique style and even support her magenta hair. But when it’s time to visit Grandma for her birthday, a little social decorum is necessary. You might reach a compromise: she’ll wear a pretty dress with her beloved high-top sneakers.
Level 9: The Prom Dress Dilemma
It doesn’t matter if your daughter gets her prom dress from a high-end store, a thrift shop, or even makes one herself. What’s essential is that, despite all the drama over hemlines and smelly shoes, a magical moment will arise. Maybe during prom prep or at home after a long day, you’ll look at your little girl and see a confident young woman who shines from the inside out. The journey through the chaos is worth it, and you’ll be feeling relieved to be back in the world of normalcy.
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Summary
Parenting a girl through her clothing choices is an epic saga filled with different levels of fashion struggles, from infant discomfort to the prom dress dilemma. Embrace the journey, and cherish the moments, because before you know it, your little one will blossom into a beautiful young woman.