7 Insights I Wish I’d Had About New Motherhood

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Hey there, soon-to-be mama! Before you dive headfirst into your Amazon baby registry, let me share some wisdom about the wild ride of new motherhood—things I wish someone had clued me in on the first time around.

I know you’re busy prepping for your little bundle of joy. You’ve designed the nursery, selected the perfect layette, and researched the best breast pump. You’ve subscribed to consumer reports to compare car seats and swings, and you’ve picked out all the educational toys and brain-boosting videos. You even have a birth plan tucked away in your hospital bag, making it clear that you want an epidural, your baby in your room, and to start breastfeeding right away. You’ve thought of everything—except for yourself.

Once that baby arrives, you’ll find yourself in a bit of a dance with Self-Neglect. It’s sneaky, but you’ll quickly find yourself prioritizing your baby’s needs over your own. Days will pass without a shower, and you’ll convince yourself that wiping spit-up off your yoga pants is enough. Shaving? Maybe once a month, and that’ll be from the knees down. You might keep up with your armpits a bit better, but no promises there.

Your home will start looking like a toy store exploded. Baby gear will take over every surface, and the sound of singing toys will haunt your dreams as you drift off to sleep. You’ll wake up to the enchanting melodies of “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” playing in the dark because you were too exhausted to remove the batteries.

Your living space may take on a certain… aroma. Your house might smell like a mix of baby poop and sour milk, and your car will be a treasure trove of puffs and Cheerios. Friends might start calling you “quirky” as you break into spontaneous lullabies during visits.

Eventually, this flirtation with neglect will turn into a full-blown relationship. You won’t even notice how Self-Neglect has taken over until one day you look in the mirror and barely recognize yourself. He’ll whisper guilt in your ear when you try to take a moment for yourself, convincing you that self-care is a luxury you can’t afford.

But it doesn’t have to be this way! Sure, a little flirtation is normal, but don’t let it become your new normal. Here’s the plan, my younger self:

1. Take a minute each afternoon to check in with yourself. Are you feeling grimy? Hungry? Lonely? Don’t let Self-Neglect take control. Wash your face, brush your teeth, or change your shirt. Your baby will be just fine while you take a moment for yourself.
2. At the end of the day, take another minute to listen to your body. Is your heart racing? Are you feeling tense? Go outside for some fresh air, stretch a little, or even treat yourself to a hot bubble bath if you can swing it.
3. You might find some friendships shifting. It’s tough to explain your new relationship with Mr. Neglect to your single friends who don’t quite get it. It’s okay to set boundaries and take time for yourself, but don’t let it escalate beyond a little flirtation.
4. Your mother-in-law might not understand your boundaries. Let your partner handle that side of things.
5. It’s perfectly fine to leave your baby with a trusted friend for a bit. Treat yourself to a latte at Starbucks, or take a stroll down every aisle at Target. Pick up a new bra, some comfy yoga pants, toothpaste, and that fabulous-smelling shampoo. You’ll thank yourself later.
6. Don’t forget to keep the spark alive with your partner. Make sure you’re prioritizing your pleasure, too. It’ll do wonders for your mood!
7. There will be days when you need to indulge a little. Enjoying a whole bag of Doritos after a rough day is okay, just don’t let it become your go-to escape. Self-care is essential and feels good consistently, while indulgence can lead to guilt if overdone.

Take care of yourself, because you deserve it. The future you will be grateful for these lessons too.

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Summary

New motherhood can lead to self-neglect as you prioritize your baby’s needs over your own. It’s essential to create a balance by practicing self-care, setting boundaries, and taking moments for yourself. Remember, taking care of yourself is not indulgent; it’s necessary for your well-being and happiness as a mom.