Why I’ve Stopped Worrying About Comments on My Baby’s Looks

home insemination Kit

You know how sometimes kids say the darndest things? Well, I recently heard a couple of little ones remark, “That baby looks strange. His eyes are ugly.” Not exactly what you want to hear as a new mom while trying to enjoy a quick bite at your favorite café. Those comments can really feel like a punch in the gut, especially since my son, Max, who is almost eight months now, was born with some unique eye conditions. He has ptosis in one eye, which required surgery just to help him see, and he also has some webbing and a fistula in the other eye. More surgeries are on the horizon, but I try not to let that overshadow the joy he brings.

With another baby on the way this September, my protective instincts are through the roof. The thought of Max facing bullying in the future has haunted me since he was in the NICU, and I was left feeling helpless. I worry about him making friends, finding love, and building the confidence he’ll need to thrive. I know, I know—I’m letting my hormones get the best of me.

When I overheard those kids’ remarks, I couldn’t help but tear up. My husband, Jake, who is always my anchor, reminded me that letting those comments get under my skin was giving them power. He was right—I knew that logically, but in the moment, I just wanted to confront them (and their dad, who was watching). For days, I couldn’t shake it off. But then I had a breakthrough.

Max is truly amazing. He lights up every room, has a permanent smile on his face, and is blissfully unaware of any differences. If he’s not bothered, why should I be? Those kids who made those hurtful comments probably have their insecurities, too. Either way, we’re going to encounter people like that throughout Max’s life, and how we respond will shape how he learns to react.

It’s natural for kids to be curious, and yes, they do stare. While out shopping recently, an elderly gentleman approached and said, “Poor little thing. What’s wrong with his eyes?” Instead of feeling defeated, I took it as an opportunity to respond positively. I smiled and said, “No need to feel sorry for him! He sees perfectly and is the happiest baby you’ll ever meet.” At that moment, Max beamed a smile that lit up the whole aisle. The man was taken aback but then smiled back, and I realized that Max and I make a pretty awesome team.

I really can’t stand the notion that our son was given a deformity because God thought we could handle it. I mean, I could also handle a tub full of cockroaches, but that doesn’t mean I’d choose it! However, I felt a sense of pride in how we handled that situation. I almost wished I could return to that fast food joint and school those kids on what makes Max unique. I should’ve shown them kindness instead of letting the moment get to me. But hey, some days I just want to be a regular mom, not the one explaining things to everyone.

We’re not concerned about whether our next baby will have similar issues—we stopped the genetic tests months ago after determining that Max is doing just fine. I’m proud to say I’m the mother of a preemie and a child with facial differences. And more importantly, I’m the mom of a smart, funny, lively, and HAPPY little boy. Honestly, what more could a mom want?

To sum it up, I’ve learned to embrace my journey as a mom, imperfections and all. Each day brings challenges, but it’s also filled with joy and love.

If you’re interested in learning more about the journey of home insemination, check out this excellent resource on artificial insemination along with some great tips from Make a Mom on how to navigate this journey. And for personalized insights, take a look at our post on intracervical insemination.