Parenting Studies Make Me Want to Punch Someone in the Throat

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You know, asking for parenting advice is like rolling out the red carpet for a parade of unsolicited opinions. I figured that out the hard way. I once asked my friend Linda how she got her kids to sleep as toddlers, and suddenly, I was drowning in her thoughts on everything from my child’s diet to their haircut. Yup, thanks a lot, Linda!

But you know what really gets my blood boiling? Those ridiculous pseudo-scientific studies that pretend to offer solid parenting advice. Seriously, just hop onto any news website and try to avoid a study about parenting. Good luck! In the last few months alone, I’ve learned that:

• Watching TV can tank your child’s self-esteem.
• Unless that child happens to be a white boy, in which case, it’s somehow beneficial for their self-esteem.
• And while we’re at it, self-esteem is crucial, but don’t encourage it too much, or you might create a little narcissist.

Just what we need—more narcissists, right? It’s like watching the stats for obesity soar in this country. And let’s face it, if your kid watches TV, obesity is practically a given. But hey, if you’re a white boy, you might still feel great about yourself, even if you’re a bit overweight.

Feeling confused? Yeah, me too! And let me tell you, if I have to read one more parenting study, I might just punch someone in the throat. Who funds these studies, anyway? Probably a group of people who have never changed a diaper. Since the dawn of time, parents have managed to raise kids without needing to sift through piles of “expert” advice.

I mean, think about it. The very first mother must have been sitting in her cave, cursing her luck as her baby screamed all night, just like I did six months ago. Frustrated parents have been feeding and nurturing babies long before any so-called “expert” decided to conduct a study on it.

So, to all those poorly designed parenting studies sponsored by cereal companies and conducted by starving college students: just stop wasting your time. And media outlets? Please, stop publishing this nonsense. You’re not helping anyone here, and trust me, this modern cave mom is about ready to throw a punch!

If you’re looking for solid advice, check out our other blog posts, like this one on home insemination kits. And for more insights on parenting and fertility, head over to Progyny, an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.

In summary, parenting is tough enough without the added confusion from questionable studies and unsolicited advice. Stick to what works for you and your family, and don’t let anyone else dictate your parenting style.