Everyone’s Up in Arms Over This Columnist Who Won’t ‘Allow’ His Wife to Leave Her Job

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So, there’s this piece titled “Why I Won’t Let My Wife Quit Her Job,” and it’s already stirring the pot. Honestly, I didn’t even bother clicking on it at first; I figured it’d be just another case of some dude who thinks he holds the reins over his wife’s choices.

When I finally gave it a read, I discovered some good intentions mingled with questionable language and an overall vibe that sets my alarm bells ringing. The writer, Mark Thompson, expresses his frustration at being asked why his wife works when he’s bringing in enough money to support the family. He claims he wants “better” for her, which sounds noble, but let’s dig deeper.

When they first met, his wife was a college student. By her junior year, she found herself pregnant and offered to drop out to take a job. Mark, recognizing how important her education was to her, decided to leave school instead, juggling multiple jobs to support them both. That doesn’t exactly scream chauvinist, right?

She went on to complete her degree, maintained a full-time job, and was genuinely proud of her accomplishments. But when she became pregnant again, things changed. Suddenly, she was overlooked for promotions, and the conversation shifted to her staying home with the kids. Mark assured her that things would improve.

But here’s where the wording starts to rub me the wrong way. “She started asking me whether she could quit her job.” Is she really “asking” for permission here? By the time their son was born, Mark’s career was flourishing, yet the idea of his wife being a stay-at-home mom was still off the table. He was concerned that she might become stagnant and regret not having pursued her career.

Now, I can see that he cares about her self-worth and wants her to thrive, but there’s a paternalistic tone in his writing that feels uncomfortable. Even his comments about their daughter come off a bit strange: “I don’t want her seeing mommy at home, thinking she needs to do the same because that’s what she grew up seeing.”

I mean, my mom was a teacher, and that didn’t make me feel like I had to follow in her footsteps. It’s a bit presumptuous to assume that just because his daughter sees her mom at home, she’ll think that’s her only option.

Mark mentions, “I respect women who find fulfillment in being a stay-at-home mom. I just have different expectations for my wife and our daughter—what else can I say?” This raises an eyebrow. It makes me question whether he truly respects those choices or if he’s projecting his own expectations onto them.

So, Mark, here’s the deal: it’s not just about “not letting” your wife quit—it’s about the expectation that she and your daughter should follow a path you approve of. And honestly, your wife’s voice is pretty much absent from this entire narrative. You say she loves her job, but is it the job she loves, or is it the time she gets to spend with the kids that brings her joy?

You claim you’re terrified she’ll lose her drive, and I get that. But it feels like you’re making all these decisions for her. Maybe you’re not, but that’s the impression you give. I’d love to hear her side of the story. Does she feel the same way you do, or is she just conforming to your expectations? And what about their son, who might think that what he observes his dad doing is the only path available to him?

Mark’s intentions might be good, but it’s 2023, and having options means being able to make choices for oneself. This includes his wife, daughter, and son. Let’s hope he realizes that, because he doesn’t seem like a bad guy at heart. Meanwhile, the internet will keep buzzing about this piece. (Seriously, check out the comments!)

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In summary, Mark Thompson’s column stirs up significant conversation regarding gender roles and the notion of choice in relationships. While his concern for his wife’s happiness is clear, the paternalistic undertones and lack of her perspective raise critical questions about autonomy and expectations within their family dynamics.