Will My Daughter Inherit My Anxiety?

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“May 18th,” my daughter replied, but that was the wrong date. Maybe we should’ve skipped this event. The night before, my almost 9-year-old was already anxious about going to Birthday Book Club, as she doesn’t like “rushing around” in the mornings. I reassured her that the schedule wouldn’t change; we’d just drive to school instead of her taking the bus. But the unease lingered. Even 12 hours before the event, she was feeling unsettled about the shift in her routine. I totally understood.

I’ve often wondered if I’ve dealt with anxiety my whole life or if it developed over time. For years, I didn’t realize that the anger, hesitation, frustration, and fear I experienced were symptoms of Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I was unaware that my stomachaches, headaches, and social withdrawal were all tied to this condition. I didn’t recognize that I was more sensitive to sounds, emotions, and stress than most people, which made me struggle with self-acceptance.

I’m unsure if my daughter has GAD or if she’s simply a Highly Sensitive Person. What I do know is that I feel responsible for her struggles. Despite my guilt, I’m grateful that I can identify what she’s going through. I wish I could remove her worries, but I’m thankful I can equip her with coping strategies so that she doesn’t carry the weight of her feelings, whether they stem from anxiety or just the natural experiences of a sensitive child.

Once we provided the volunteer with the correct birthday, and her name sticker was affixed to the front page of the book, she found a seat to listen to the librarian read. She sat just a couple of steps away from where she was standing, clearly overwhelmed and unable to find a better spot with a view. I offered to leave and head back to her classroom, and she agreed.

As we approached the pile of backpacks near the library entrance, the bell rang. My daughter froze; it was the tardy bell. I reminded her that the librarian had said that nobody at Birthday Book Club would be counted tardy, but she was still unconvinced.

I took her hands, looked into her eyes, and encouraged her to breathe. We took a deep breath together, and after that, she wrapped her arms around me tightly, pouring her strength into the hug. We said our goodbyes, and she hurried down the long hallway. I stood there, watching until she turned the corner, trying to absorb her anxiety and carry it myself.

Being a mom while dealing with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and being a Highly Sensitive Person can be tough. Often, I sense my daughters’ emotions before they do. My hope is to be strong for them when necessary but also to be in tune with their needs so they don’t have to ask for help.

While it’s challenging for me to navigate motherhood, I can’t help but think it might be even tougher for my daughter. But one thing I’ve learned is that we often don’t choose our burdens; we only get to decide how we carry them.

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Summary:

This article reflects on the author’s experiences with anxiety and how those feelings may impact her daughter, who exhibits similar sensitivities. While grappling with her own challenges, the author aims to provide her child with coping mechanisms to handle emotional struggles, understanding that each generation carries its own burdens.