You’ve seen the headlines. Each day brings new stories about dress codes, particularly as summer approaches and the focus shifts to shorts, sundresses, and sleeveless tops. And, spoiler alert: the conversation rarely involves boys.
In the U.S., we often express our support for women who wear burkas, lamenting how unfair it is that they must cover themselves to avoid unwanted attention or to prevent men from being distracted by their appearance. We pride ourselves on being progressive and open-minded. But then we turn our attention to the outfits of teenage girls.
School administrators are scrutinizing everything from the length of shorts to the tightness of leggings, often with the intent of…what exactly? Protecting girls from boys? Boys from girls? It’s hard to keep track.
Recently, a note made its way around Reddit and Imgur, capturing the frustration of girls feeling targeted by such policies. Just last week, a student in Trenton, Ontario, received a 24-hour suspension for wearing a seemingly innocent dress to school. The day before, she had worn thigh-length shorts and a tank top without any issues. It raises the question: What’s so wrong with her outfit? Even her sister and the many commenters couldn’t figure it out.
The confusion doesn’t stop there. A 5-year-old was sent home for wearing a spaghetti strap dress—something my 7-year-old often wears without a second thought. She was made to wear jeans underneath and a T-shirt on top because, you guessed it, spaghetti straps were “against the rules.” Can you believe it? Her dad wrote a powerful piece about the incident, expressing his shock at how early these issues start. He pointed out that the obsession with a girl’s appearance and how it relates to purity and safety is deeply troubling.
As a parent, I find myself questioning the principles behind these strict dress codes. Why are school officials examining necklines, thighs, and shoulders? It feels excessive. My daughter is only 7—should she be worried about how her outfit might affect the boys around her? It’s a troubling message to send, especially as she grows older and begins to embrace her identity as a young woman.
Fortunately, girls are starting to speak out. Just check Instagram or Twitter, and you’ll see countless girls sharing their stories and frustration with outdated dress codes. More parents are stepping up to challenge these norms, standing beside their daughters and rejecting the notion that it’s their responsibility to dress in a way that avoids punishment.
I’m not sure what it’s going to take to change this narrative, but I wholeheartedly support these girls. My daughter will soon be navigating this world, and I want her to feel empowered, not ashamed of her body. My middle-school son is already confused by the rules: “Why can’t the girls wear tank tops?” he asked. Honestly, I have no idea.
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In summary, it’s time we rethink our approach to dress codes and the messages they send to our children. The focus should be on empowerment rather than restriction, allowing kids to express themselves freely without fear of judgment.