What Mother’s Day Feels Like for a Grieving Mom

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As I sit here on this gloomy evening, a deep sadness wraps around my heart, a feeling you’re all too familiar with. There’s an ache that never quite disappears. You know that pain—the kind that lingers like a shadow. To the outside world, we might seem okay. We put on brave faces, hide our tears, and carry on as best we can. But the truth is, we are forever changed since that heartbreaking day: the day we lost our child.

I won’t pretend I’m grateful we crossed paths. If we hadn’t, it would mean our little ones were still here with us, living their lives. We would have been blissfully unaware of this tragic reality. Yet, the unimaginable has forged a bond between us.

Now that we share this connection, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. You’ve cried with me, listened without judgment, and have been a constant source of support. Despite the indescribable pain of losing a child, you’ve given me hope. When I shared the news of expecting another baby, you celebrated with me while understanding the bittersweet nature of it all.

From you, I’ve learned what it means to show grace and compassion. I’ve discovered an inner strength I never knew I had—strength that you helped me uncover.

Challenging Days

Certain days are incredibly challenging. Each birthday that passes is a reminder of another year without our child. We reflect on all the “what ifs,” and it feels so unjust. Our child should be here—growing, learning, making friends, and embracing life. We’ve missed out on so many milestones, and while our family and friends mean well, they can’t truly grasp the depth of our sorrow. Often, we hear that we need to “move on” and that “our child would want us to be happy.” We’ve learned to adjust our expectations when it comes to understanding from some people. However, we have one simple request that remains: we want our child to be remembered. You’ve always honored that wish.

Mother’s Day Reflections

Mother’s Day is particularly tough. I still remember my first one. Liam had been gone for eight months, and while I was expecting a healthy baby girl, the grief was still fresh. You were the only one who reached out that day. We cried together and vented about the unfairness of it all. Somehow, we made it through.

Becoming a mom has been my dream for as long as I can remember. I’ve had incredible role models, including my own mom. Over the years, I’ve admired those who seem to have it all together, envied those who make parenting look effortless, and recognized that motherhood is far from simple.

Today, my greatest role models are my fellow grieving moms. Each one has shown a resilience that is nothing short of remarkable. You are truly my heroes.

Navigating Grief

With Mother’s Day approaching, I struggle to find the right words. Some of us are facing this day for the very first time, while others have experienced early losses or have gone on to have other children. As for me, I’ve been navigating this grief for nearly seven years now, and the pain is still intense.

In many ways, it feels odd to wish you a Happy Mother’s Day because happiness may feel out of reach. I get it. I can’t take away your pain; no one can. All I can offer are hugs and the knowledge that I love and appreciate you. I’m grateful to have you in my life. I promise to remember your child—not just today, but every single day. I’ll be by your side whenever you need me.

In Summary

In summary, Mother’s Day is a poignant reminder of the love and loss we hold in our hearts. It’s a day filled with mixed emotions, where we honor our children while grappling with our grief. We are not alone in this journey.