What My Mom Taught Me About Sharing My Story

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You know, my mom was pretty unconventional. She had a flair for being loud and a knack for saying things that were, well, a bit out there. But amid the chaos, she imparted some seriously valuable lessons. One of the most important ones was how to talk about myself—and let me tell you, that’s not an easy skill to master.

Growing up, I was your typical bookish kid, glued to the TV watching Woody Allen flicks at way too young an age. I relied heavily on self-deprecating humor, thinking it made me relatable. My friends laughed, but then my mom dropped a truth bomb on me: “When you constantly put yourself down, people will remember the negative things you say, but not that you were the one who said them.”

Wait, what? I’m the source of all this self-deprecation, so how could they forget that? I tried to argue, “But I’m just joking!”

Her response? “It doesn’t matter. They’ll forget it was you, and they won’t even remember that it was funny.”

That made me pause. I began to think about how others might view me. “Should we invite Laurie to the party?” someone might say. “Nah, I heard she gets really awkward at gatherings.” Ouch. Maybe she had a point. Then, she added, “The same goes for the positive stuff. If you say nice things about yourself, people will also forget where it came from.” Huh, interesting.

Fast forward a few years, and I found myself working as an assistant at a media company. I was surrounded by writers and actors getting opportunities I dreamed of. When someone asked me what I wanted to do, I mentioned I wanted to be a writer, but nobody saw me that way. “Just keep saying you’re a writer,” they advised. “Eventually, someone who hasn’t read your work will give you a shot.”

It was like my mom’s wisdom echoed in the halls of that office. Of course, it wasn’t enough for her to say it; it needed validation from someone else. Just like when she suggested I use an ice cream scoop for muffin batter, and I ignored her until a famous chef said the same thing. “Didn’t I tell you that ages ago?” I could practically hear her say.

Turns out, that friend and the chef were right, and so was my mom. A few months after I started claiming my identity as a writer, I landed two paying gigs, all thanks to people who had never seen my work before. “Laurie’s a writer, isn’t she?” You bet she is!

So, take my mom’s advice to heart. Don’t go around berating yourself or making jokes that downplay your skills, especially not to people who don’t know you well. Instead, confidently share what you excel at or what you aspire to be—because they’ll forget who said it and might just give you a chance to shine. And for goodness’ sake, heed your mom’s wisdom; you don’t need a celebrity to back her up.

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In summary, my mom taught me the importance of how I present myself to the world. Embrace your strengths, avoid self-deprecation, and you’ll be amazed at the opportunities that come your way.