33 Facebook Notifications Moms Would Actually Appreciate

home insemination Kit

Let’s be honest—most of those Facebook alerts are a letdown. You open one, hoping for something exciting, and it turns out to be just another comment on a photo that doesn’t even look like you. Here are 33 Facebook notifications that would genuinely be helpful for moms like us.

1. Morning alert! Your coffee intake is critically low. Time for another cup (or two).
2. Don’t forget your sweater—it’s chilly outside!
3. It’s 10 a.m. Have you had breakfast yet? Those toast crusts on the floor don’t count as a meal.
4. Another political candidate has entered the race. Should you mute your brother’s posts?
5. Tina Fey just made a hilarious joke. Grab that coffee and enjoy!
6. A Democrat has replied. Maybe mute your cousin too?
7. Your mom’s group is still debating The Drama of The Gifted Child. Time to move on, ladies!
8. Lots of #blessed posts today. Remember, everyone expresses themselves differently—be kind!
9. Time for some neck stretches. Seriously, you’re starting to look like a pretzel.
10. Mother’s Day was all about you, but don’t forget you have a mom too!
11. Warning: Your coworker is gearing up to pass the buck. Stay alert!
12. Uh-oh! Your kid is using a turkey baster to poke holes in the screen door.
13. The real estate market just turned in your favor for buying.
14. Palazzo pants can actually be flattering—if you find the right ones!
15. Here are three adorable bungalows just out of your budget. Dream on!
16. That leftover concoction you brought for lunch looks questionable. Treat yourself to a fancy cookie!
17. If you have this much free time at work, maybe it’s time to start that novel.
18. A Labradoodle isn’t a real dog—right? Or is it?
19. Your novel’s structure needs some work. We get it, you want to capture the struggle of middle-class moms, but let’s be real.
20. It’s 4:45 p.m. Check your freezer for dinner: some old squash soup you weren’t fond of the first time.
21. At 4:52 p.m., if you leave now, you might snag a rotisserie chicken.
22. 5:01 p.m.—too late for the store. Looks like it’s tuna sandwiches tonight!
23. Spin it as “picnic night!”
24. You don’t have exact change for the babysitter. Stop and grab something small to break a bill.
25. If you had stopped for that rotisserie chicken, you’d be in a better place right now. Who even wears pantyhose anymore?
26. You think you deserve a gold star for putting your phone down during dinner? Let’s not pretend you’re not just avoiding that headline: “Mom checks Facebook while toddler drives off!”
27. You actually have time to work out or practice guitar—three hours until bedtime!
28. [chuckles hollowly]
29. If you don’t put that phone down right now, Facebook will follow you into your dreams.
30. Twitter can’t compete with the wide reach of Facebook—okay, maybe just peek!
31. Yes, that bird swooping at you in the app is a bit unsettling. Back to Facebook it is.
32. Pinching your nose can help with that tension headache. You deserve more than this. Other people learn new skills—what are you waiting for?
33. Oh, and by the way, it’s your birthday today!

This article was originally published on May 11, 2015. For more insights into parenting and home insemination, check out our post on home insemination kits. You can also find authoritative information on this topic at Make a Mom and CDC pregnancy resources.

Summary

In this light-hearted take on Facebook notifications, we share 33 alerts that would genuinely benefit busy moms. From reminders about breakfast to humorous insights on parenting, these notifications aim to resonate with the everyday experiences of mothers.