I’m Not a Helicopter Parent Because I Don’t Have the Time

home insemination Kit

Let’s be real: “Free-Range Parenting” is the new trend, and it seems we’ve all been so busy hovering over our kids that we may have contributed to their struggles with everyday tasks. But guess what? I’m too swamped to be a helicopter parent anyway.

I end up free-ranging my kids simply because I’m disorganized. And you know what? I’m okay with that. I’m just biding my time until my child makes a groundbreaking discovery using the bathtub and my makeup stash as a makeshift lab. As long as my kids are entertained without my constant involvement, I’m content.

It’s not that I don’t love my kids; on the contrary, I recognize that everyone needs a little space to think, breathe, and strategize. I’m not the mom who gets down on the floor to play; I’m the one sipping coffee and making to-do lists I might never tackle. I mean, the fact that I brought them into this world and provide them with organic snacks—like those adorable cheddar bunnies—should count for something, right?

Now, this whole free-range parenting thing has taken a bizarre twist where we’re expected to schedule time to not supervise our children. Seriously? We’re supposed to carve out moments for them to explore their imagination in the wild frontier of our suburban backyards while I stand by, worrying they might scrape a knee—even though they’re decked out in knee pads and bubble wrap. And let’s not even get started on the “special snowflake” mentality that seems to be rampant.

Honestly, my struggle is scheduling time to keep an eye on my kids. I work from home, my partner runs a business, and I have “important” hobbies like online shopping and sneaky pantry snacking. So if my kids want to run around making a ruckus while I kick back in a lawn chair with a book (or Elle Décor for a change), feel free to call the authorities. I’ll just say I’m embracing this whole free-range thing—science backs me up on it! If they want my kids, they can take them; I’ve been on the lookout for a reliable babysitter.

But don’t worry; my kids are still snacking on organic treats—so it’s all good!

If you’re interested in exploring more about home insemination, check out this other blog post here. For more information on self insemination, Make A Mom has some great resources. Also, CCRM IVF provides excellent insights into pregnancy and home insemination.

In summary, I’m not a helicopter parent because I’m simply too busy to be one. My approach may be unorthodox, but it works for us.