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My Love/Hate Relationship With Swimsuit Season
Updated: July 1, 2023
Originally Published: May 14, 2021
So, there I was, throwing myself a little pity party after yet another cringe-worthy experience shopping for swimsuits. Before I had my daughter, I could just grab a small and be on my merry way. Those days are long gone! Now, you’ll find me, lacking in confidence, clutching a pile of different sizes outside the fitting room, sweating like I’m trying to evade capture.
This body transformation didn’t happen in a flash. It took nine long months to grow a tiny human, so why on earth did I think my body would snap back to its former self right after? I’m pretty sure those magazine covers featuring fit celebrity moms had something to do with my unrealistic expectations. The truth is, getting back to a healthy state is a long and bumpy road. But hey, I’ve had moments where I don’t absolutely despise my stomach, and I consider that a win!
As an American, it’s all too easy to point fingers at society for my struggles. Isn’t it strange that women are only encouraged to embrace their curves during pregnancy? Once I made it through the “it’s a baby, not a food baby” phase, I was thrilled to wear fitted clothes again. Now, the only time I dare to wear something snug is on laundry day when I have no choice but to leave the house. Seriously, I’ve been known to duck behind furniture to avoid facing the UPS delivery guy while sporting my “I regret everything” sweatpants.
With summer just around the corner, and not wanting to become a social hermit, I decided it was time for round two of swimsuit shopping. I’m definitely not ready to embrace the classic black one-piece, but I also don’t fit the target demographic for those neon, tribal print bikinis at Target. So, there I was, on a mission to find that elusive balance between practical and stylish. After selecting a few options, I headed to the fitting room, where I encountered what can only be described as a fun house mirror. I mean, when did I get cellulite there?
Just when I thought my most embarrassing moment was when I accidentally “snarted” (sneezing while farting) in front of my doctor, the universe decided to outdo itself. I struggled to pull the swimsuit bottoms over my thighs, and let’s just say circulation was not a priority at that moment. After some serious shimmying and hopping, I finally got them on. The fabric felt like it was digging into my skin like twine on a Christmas roast. I think this moment definitely called for at least a pint of ice cream.
In the end, I settled on a swimsuit that was basically the equivalent of a beige loafer—functional but not exactly a fashion statement. Choosing a two-piece made me feel a bit like a daring feminist, so I guess not all was lost. I managed to avoid wearing a muu muu to any poolside events, and that felt like a small victory. Who knows, maybe next summer I’ll finally muster the courage to stop cropping myself out of family beach photos.
If you’re navigating similar waters, check out some excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination. For more tips and insights, you can read through our privacy policy here or explore the expertise at BabyMaker, which covers a wide range of topics related to home insemination. The CDC also provides valuable information on infertility and related concerns here.
Summary:
Navigating swimsuit season can be a struggle, especially after having kids. From the unrealistic expectations influenced by media to the challenges of finding something both practical and stylish, many women share this love/hate relationship with swimwear. Finding the right fit can feel overwhelming, but celebrating small victories, like opting for a two-piece, can make the journey more enjoyable.