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11 Outrageous Things Men Have Said to Me on First Dates
Once upon a time, I was in the thick of dating, meeting a myriad of men who were definitely not Matthew McConaughey. It was a whirlwind—exciting yet often lonely—as I explored life after divorce. I was eager to connect with adults over topics beyond toddler pee or booger questions, and I was figuring out different facets of my personality. However, the experience was not without its fair share of cringe-worthy moments. Some men really let loose with the most ludicrous comments—seriously, I felt like I was stuck in a juvenile comedy. Despite encountering some genuinely interesting guys, the ones who stood out the most were the ones who said the dumbest things. Here are some of the highlights:
- “Wow! You look better in person than in your profile picture!”
Thanks for the compliment, but did you really just say that? Coming from someone who looked like they rolled out of bed in a cat-hair-covered fleece, it was a tad amusing. It made me wonder if I had somehow exceeded his low expectations or if he was hoping I’d be a total knockout. - “All my exes are crazy. Like, need-a-psychiatrist crazy.”
Listen up, gentlemen: women don’t buy this line. If you keep attracting “crazy,” maybe you should check the mirror. This was after Mr. Cat-Hair Fleece was shocked by my appearance. Great start, right? - “I feel like you’re too needy to date again.”
This was the third strike from Mr. Cat-Hair. I spent most of the date nursing a PBR while he rambled on about his exes. After a while, I pointed out that he might be the common denominator in all of those “crazy” relationships. Then he hit me with this gem. - “Should we connect on LinkedIn?”
Right after claiming I was needy, he wanted to connect on LinkedIn? Four years later, his profile popped up, and I thought, “Oh, heck no!” Clearly, he didn’t remember our “magical” date filled with awkwardness. - “How do you feel about pain?”
This was his not-so-subtle way of suggesting something more intimate while we were in my car. It was pre-Fifty Shades, so I’m not sure where he got the idea. I politely declined to see him again, especially after he forgot his wallet. That was painful enough. - “How do you feel about men with hair—everywhere?”
Just imagine answering that. Seriously, I’d love to know what witty comeback someone has for that one. Spoiler alert: he didn’t mean he was into non-waxed women. - “Are you going to write about me on your blog?”
Oh, you bet I am! But not in the way you think. I’m sharing this as a cautionary tale for other women. Dating can be a rollercoaster, but it’s worth it to find someone great. - “When can I meet your kid?”
Um, never. I kept my dating life separate from my parenting. My child didn’t need to meet every guy I went out with, especially not after one avocado bruschetta date. - “You wear a lot of makeup.”
And you’re wearing a velvet blazer. If pointing out the obvious is the game, I guess we’re both winning. I’ll show my flaws when I’m ready—until then, it’s layers of concealer for me! - “I’ve never met a woman not looking to get married. Why are you dating?”
Sorry, buddy, but we’re in a new era. Women can choose to date for fun, companionship, or whatever suits them. We’re not all looking for a ring on it. - “Let’s connect on Facebook!”
How about we wait and see if you’re a good kisser first? I had a strict ten-date rule for accepting friend requests. This saved me from awkward encounters later on, especially when I had to ghost someone after a disastrous date.
Dating can be a wild ride filled with ridiculous comments and awkward moments. But through it all, it’s worth it when you find genuine connections. If you’re curious about home insemination and parenting, check out this post on intracervical insemination and learn more from the experts at Make A Mom. For more information on pregnancy and home insemination, Healthline is an excellent resource.
Summary:
Dating can often lead to awkward encounters and ridiculous comments that leave you shaking your head. From bizarre compliments to unsolicited questions about personal lives, these moments can be both cringe-worthy and amusing. Understanding that these experiences are part of the journey can help you navigate the dating scene with a sense of humor.