Your cart is currently empty!
25 Surprising Truths About Approaching 50
So, you’re nearing 50? Buckle up! You might want to pop a few ibuprofen just to brace yourself for the ride, including when you hit that elevator button.
Despite the number, you’ll still feel like you’re somewhere between 18 and 25—until you catch your reflection and remember reality. And guess what? You might find you’re shaving your legs a lot less often.
Ever notice how some people have a “turtle neck”? Well, you might be sporting something similar. Suddenly, everyone around you seems younger—not just the celebrities but even your doctor and your pilot.
On the bright side, single life has its perks: you know what you want and you’re not afraid to ask for it. Married sex? It stays married, but your fantasies are still as wild as ever. And hello, automatic AARP membership!
Oh, and remember that grudge from way back in 1982? You’re still a bit miffed, but it’s not consuming your thoughts like it used to. In fact, you might find you care less about a lot of things. If a friend flakes on lunch three times, you’ll wave goodbye. Who needs that drama?
True wisdom? Realizing how much you’ll never actually know. Menopause? Surprisingly, it’s a gift—no more tampons or birth control! You might think, why did I endure that for so long?
Congrats, you’ve officially turned into your mother. Those veins? Wow, who knew your body had so many? When the doctor offers you a choice of biopsy scar locations, it’ll just make you chuckle. Seriously, “just add it to the pile.”
A glass of wine? It won’t make you sleepy anymore; it’ll have you wide awake at 3 a.m. And that savings account you dreamed of? Good luck with that!
You’ll be bonding with amazing women who are closer in age to your kids than you. Your tolerance for 24-hour news will plummet. One day you’ll realize that anything else—like tweezing or even watching paint dry—would be more enjoyable than the news.
You’ll start seeing human folly as something fascinating, rather than irritating, like an anthropologist observing a quirky tribe. Rereading Shakespeare will hit you differently—wow, that guy was brilliant! And if a book doesn’t grab you by page 10? Straight to the donation pile!
All those years spent on parenting? They’ll pay off big time when you find yourself having dinner with your once needy kids and thinking, “I’d totally be friends with them, even if they weren’t my offspring.”
And about that whole vaginas topic? Let’s just skip it for now.
This little journey of approaching 50 can be quite the eye-opener, but it’s one filled with unexpected joys. If you’re looking for more insights, check out this terms and conditions page. And for those interested in the world of home insemination, this kit is a fantastic resource. Don’t forget to visit this link for more information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Approaching 50 is a mix of surprises, realizations, and a touch of nostalgia. You might feel younger than you are, but your body and perspective tell a different story. Embrace the changes, and make the most of this new chapter!