You gaze lovingly at your beautiful newborn. You count those tiny fingers and toes, marveling at how perfect he is. But let’s be real—newborns are also some of the most disgusting little creatures on the planet. Thank goodness they’re so adorable; otherwise, we might just run for the hills! Here are ten of the most gag-worthy things about having a newborn.
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Meconium
In those first few days, your baby will produce a substance known as meconium, or as parents like to call it, “butt tar.” It’s a murky greenish-black, requires an endless supply of wipes, and carries a smell that could knock you out. It’s basically a mix of amniotic fluid and skin cells your baby ingested before birth, which makes it all the more delightful. -
Milia
These little white bumps on your baby’s face might look like acne, but they’re not! They’re just milia, and while they might interfere with your baby’s cuteness, the urge to pop them is just not worth it. -
Chicken Legs and Arms
Forget those adorable rolls you see in baby commercials. Many newborns come out looking like they’ve just emerged from a chicken coop. Those skinny, reddish limbs are totally normal, though they might not be the cute image you had in mind. -
Pooping
The sounds that come from a newborn during a diaper change are legendary. It’s a sticky and copious mess that will have you questioning your life choices as you scrub it off. Congratulations, new mama! Hope your stomach can handle it! -
Barfing
Newborns can hurl like pros. Sometimes it’s just a little spit-up on your shoulder, and other times it’s a full-on projectile situation that smells just as bad as any adult vomit. -
Umbilical Cord Stump
That tiny umbilical cord stump can be alarming. It looks like a crusty little alien attached to your newborn, and you might find yourself calling the pediatrician out of sheer horror. Don’t worry, it’s just a normal part of life, and it’ll eventually fall off. Just don’t even think about keeping it! -
Werewolf Fur
Your baby might come out sporting lanugo, a fine layer of hair that can make them look like a tiny wolfman. Don’t fret, though; it will fall out soon enough—just not soon enough for your liking. -
The Soft Spot
That soft spot on your baby’s head is essential for growth, but it can be pretty creepy knowing there’s a gap in their skull. You’ll spend the first year worrying about it! -
Tiny Finger and Toenails
At first, those little nails seem adorable, but they’re sharp enough for your baby to scratch their own face. Trimming them can be a nerve-wracking experience, and you’ll probably be left with the ickies. -
Minor Newborn Maladies
From cradle cap to clogged tear ducts, newborns come with a host of not-so-great ailments. While they’re typically harmless, they sure can be gross. Some well-meaning parent might suggest just using breast milk to fix it, which can be a whole other level of gross depending on your perspective.
What do you think is the most disgusting part of having a newborn?
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Summary: Newborns are undeniably adorable but come with some truly gross characteristics, from their first poops to their tiny nails. Understanding these quirks can help new parents cope with the less glamorous side of baby care.