7 Reasons Crafting Isn’t My Thing

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Do you remember those glossy catalogs from J. Crew back in the ’90s? You know, the ones showcasing picture-perfect families draped in cozy sweaters, all smiles in their beautifully adorned colonial homes? I longed to recreate that holiday magic in my own space. So, naturally, as an adult, I thought I’d give crafting a shot to transform my home into a J.Crew-inspired wonderland.

Spoiler alert: it did not go as planned. At 32, I’ve accepted that crafting is simply not my forte. Pinterest terrifies me, and magazine layouts seem designed to remind me of my shortcomings. So, I’ve decided to embrace my lack of crafting skills. Here are seven reasons why I’m not cut out for it:

1. Glitter: It’s the herpes of the crafting world—once it’s in your life, it never leaves.
2. Craft Stores: Places like Hobby Lobby and Michael’s are nightmares. The aisles are cramped, the faux flowers make me sneeze, and the checkout lines could rival waiting for a roller coaster ride. I once spent $129.42 on a few paints, cardboard, and some glitter stickers. I tried visiting these stores after a drink or two, but that only led to me loudly asking a lady blocking the wooden stamps to make way.
3. Hot Glue Guns: No, just no. I have a long list of reasons not to go down that road.
4. The Wreath Dilemma: Ever thought, “That looks easy! I can totally do that!”? In my house, that translates to four store trips, a $312 bill, and a hot mess of seashells glued in places no one should have seashells. I often end up shouting at my husband, who never even wanted the wreath in the first place.
5. Martha Stewart: I can’t stand her smug smile on magazine covers, pretending crafting is a walk in the park. I get it, she’s the queen of DIY, but it only makes me roll my eyes.
6. Kids and Crafting: When my little one wants to help, it usually results in a disaster. Tiny beads on the carpet? Check. Dog trying to eat everything? Double check. Hot glue on a bare foot? You betcha.
7. Spray Painting: The thought of covering everything in plastic sheeting before I spray paint is exhausting. That’s why my balcony is now a lovely shade of hot pink.

So, there you have it. My dreams of a chic, J.Crew-inspired home have been crushed, and you know what? That’s okay. My husband has gently pointed out that I might be better off spending my time on things I actually enjoy, like avoiding craft disasters and keeping the dog out of trouble. And honestly, I’m fine with that—even if Martha isn’t.

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Summary

Crafting may be a dream for some, but for me, it’s a chaotic nightmare filled with glitter, hot glue, and frustrated outbursts. After many failed attempts and a few too many trips to the craft store, I’ve accepted that my talents lie elsewhere. Embracing this realization has been a relief, and I’m ready to focus on what I truly enjoy.