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The 5 Frustrating Ways Sibling Rivalry Manifests Itself
Parenting books and my personality just don’t mix well. I often find myself fixating on the worst-case scenarios outlined in those books, while conveniently forgetting the solutions to avoid those disasters. The result? Kids feeling neglected and me feeling overwhelmed. So, after my eldest, Max, turned two, I vowed to ditch the parenting literature.
I’ve only strayed from that promise a couple of times, one being when I wanted to learn how to prevent sibling rivalry before it even began. The idea was simple: help my kids feel secure enough in themselves so they wouldn’t feel the need to compete for my attention. And guess what? It actually seemed to work.
Max and his little sister, Lily, have shown little interest in vying for the title of Favorite Child. While that’s probably great for their self-esteem, I sometimes wonder if a little healthy competition wouldn’t hurt. I mean, wouldn’t it be nice if Max wanted to outshine Lily by cleaning up his craft mess or if Lily tried to eat her veggies to be the “good eater”?
But here’s the kicker: sibling rivalry didn’t just vanish; it morphed into annoyances I never saw coming. Here are five ways it rears its head:
- I Had It First! The definitions of “had” and “first” are ridiculously flexible in my house. “Had” can mean anything from spotting an item from across the room to merely thinking about it. As for “first,” it can mean holding something at any point in the last month. Of course, the real possession rule is whoever is currently clutching the item, even if they’re just sitting on it.
- Don’t Go in My Side! Every time we’re getting in or out of the car, there’s a full-blown debate about which door each child will use. It’s not like one door is more magical than the other, but you’d think we were fighting for the last slice of pizza.
- I’m Gonna Win! This leads us to the next point. My kids will sprint through parking lots, over sidewalks, and even through thorn bushes just to beat each other to the car (or whatever destination). The prize? Not my admiration, that’s for sure.
- It’s Not a Race! This phrase is usually uttered by the sibling who just lost, or is about to lose, the so-called race.
- That’s Mine! Having two of everything is simply not feasible. Or is it? Because I’m totally over the constant battle over who gets the orange plate. Maybe I should just invest in some matching sets from an authority on the subject, like this link.
Just to clarify, I’m not encouraging my kids to compete for my love; they already have that in spades! I just think if they want to flex their competitive muscles, they should do it in a fun way—like who can whip up the best breakfast in bed? Just a thought. Maybe I’ll tell Max that Lily is going to make it first.
For more insights on sibling dynamics or parenting in general, check out this informative piece from our other blog at this link. And if you’re looking for great resources on pregnancy and home insemination, visit this link.
Summary:
Sibling rivalry can take many forms, often manifesting in amusing and frustrating ways. From claiming ownership of toys to racing to the car, the competition can be relentless. However, fostering a spirit of healthy competition in more constructive ways might just be the key to easing those sibling tensions.