We all have that urge to fit in or be “normal,” and while some of that desire can keep us from acting out in public, it can also squash our individuality. If your goal is to raise kind, smart, and creative boys (or girls), you might need to embrace being a little unconventional. Trust me, as a parent of boys, I’ve seen the research highlighting the challenging environment they face today. When my kids were younger, I often heard people say that I was turning them into “wimps” by prioritizing music lessons over sports and promoting reading over video games. But guess what? My boys are well-liked and thriving.
Here’s a little secret: I think my kids are absolutely incredible—and I believe yours are too! Recognizing their limitless potential has helped me ignore all the fleeting trends and misguided advice out there. I’m not concerned with social media “likes”; I’m focused on raising boys who are good, moral individuals who bring positivity into the world.
Like any parents, we’ve made our share of mistakes, but we draw a clear line when it comes to unkindness. My boys learned early on that making fun of someone based on their appearance or background is unacceptable. We share a lot of laughs, but we direct that humor at life’s quirks, not at others.
Encouraging kindness starts with setting an example. Show respect to everyone—cashiers, waitstaff, and anyone else you encounter. A simple drive-thru stop can turn into a learning moment about appreciating the hard work of employees. By acknowledging their efforts, we instill empathy and compassion in our kids.
Too often, the phrase “boys will be boys” is used to excuse poor behavior. Sure, boys can be messy and rowdy, but that doesn’t mean we accept fighting or disrespecting others. My friend Lucy, who has twin boys, recently asked how to curb their hitting. I told her it’s a daily effort that takes years. Just the other day, my 21-year-old figured out how to have fun during wrestling matches without anyone ending up in tears. Boys will be boys, but they also need to learn self-control.
I’m personally not a fan of the “let them hash it out” approach. My husband and I both experienced sibling fights that led to lasting resentment. Teaching boys to manage their tempers is crucial for their future relationships as husbands and fathers.
I take pride in my sons when they achieve something academically or athletically, but I’m even prouder when I see them caring for others—like soothing a crying baby at church or playing with younger kids. As the saying goes, “A man never stands as tall as when he kneels to help a child.”
We also have a zero-tolerance policy for crude jokes or behaviors that objectify women. Manners might seem old-fashioned, but saying “excuse me” after burping or holding the door open for others never goes out of style.
Understanding grief is essential too. It’s vital for kids to grasp the struggles that people face, whether it’s in their neighborhood or beyond. Talking about hard truths can foster compassion. As Plato once said, “Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
Lastly, maintaining a sense of whimsy is key to kindness. My son often jokes that life would be dull if I wasn’t a bit immature. I fully embrace that! Whether it’s making homemade valentines or having a spontaneous water fight, keeping things lighthearted fosters happiness.
At the end of the day, kindness and laughter go hand in hand. The more joy we cultivate at home, the happier we all are.
For more insights and tips about home insemination, check out this post on intracervical insemination and visit Make a Mom for expert advice. If you’re looking for reliable information on fertility, the CDC offers valuable resources.
Summary
Raising kind and intelligent boys requires a commitment to instilling values of empathy, good manners, and self-control. By modeling kindness, encouraging open conversations about grief, and maintaining a playful spirit, parents can nurture a generation of compassionate individuals.