At the end of a long day, my kids scurry off to bed, their hair still damp from a bath they surprisingly didn’t resist. I lean in and whisper, “I love you. Thanks for being so amazing. Sleep tight and enjoy your 12-hour snooze.” Each child looks up and says, “I’m definitely NOT going to ask for a glass of water right now. Goodnight!”
Just kidding! None of that ever happens.
Bedtime is, without a doubt, my least favorite time of day. The whole bedtime routine feels like a cosmic joke aimed at parents, as if the universe is saying, “Let’s wrap up your day with some chaos!” Every night in my house feels like a scene from a twisted version of Groundhog Day.
The Bedtime Routine
First, I mention it’s time for bed, and both kids react like I just suggested they jump into a volcano. Their expressions are a mix of shock and absolute horror. “BED? NO WAY! I DON’T WANT TO GO TO BED!”
Next comes the pajama struggle, which is honestly the most exhausting part of the day — am I right? Why can’t kids just put on their pajamas without a wrestling match? Why do they have to flail around and make it a workout for me? Seriously, someone, help me out here.
After what feels like a miracle, I finally get the pajamas on, and then it’s time for teeth brushing. You have two types of kids: one who wants to brush their teeth for an eternity and another who flat-out refuses. There’s no happy medium. And if you have two, they will invariably turn the toothbrushes into swords, leading to one very annoyed child by the end of it.
Now, we stumble into the bedroom to choose a story. If you have more than one child, good luck getting them to agree on anything. One kid will ask for a book that has been MIA for weeks, while you scramble to find something suitable. You finally settle on a different book, only for them to suddenly declare they love it and want to hear it AGAIN, MOM!
As I make my stealthy exit from the room, I inevitably trip over a toy. Seriously, there’s no way to navigate a child’s room without stepping on something. And of course, the toy I trip over is the one that plays a long, obnoxious tune.
If you’ve ever wondered why parents need a drink after putting the kids to bed, look no further than this nightly ritual. It’s the universe’s way of reminding you not to get too cocky about your parenting skills.
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In summary, the bedtime routine is a chaotic but familiar dance that all parents know too well. It’s an exhausting end to the day filled with unexpected twists and turns, leaving us in desperate need of a moment of peace (and maybe a drink).