10 Surprising Realities of Choosing to Become a Single Mother

home insemination Kit

Deciding to embark on the journey of becoming a single mother by choice is a significant life decision. After experiencing some less-than-ideal fertility test results, I took the plunge in February and here’s what I’ve encountered so far:

1. Welcome to the World of Jargon: You might find yourself diving into a whole new vocabulary. It starts innocently enough, but soon you’re Googling acronyms like dpo (days past ovulation) and TWW (two-week wait), while you stress over signs like sore bbs (breasts). You’ll be POAS (pee on a stick) and obsessing over whether you’re seeing two lines. Trying to conceive (TTC) can be overwhelming, and the abbreviations don’t help, but they sure make the process feel more relatable!
2. Nothing is Off the Table: Once you start “trying,” intimate conversations become the norm. You discuss everything from artificial insemination (AI) with your doctor to the nitty-gritty details with your donor. Whether it’s “Come over today! Positive OPK!” or sharing pictures of your post-insemination position, it’s all fair game. Researching the timing of your orgasm? Just another day at the office.
3. Your Doctor’s Office Might Get Tired of You: While I used to work in a medical office and understand their role, it’s tough not to bombard them with questions. You want to cover all bases, so you call about vitamins, caffeine levels, and progesterone. By now, the nurses are probably rooting for you just to get pregnant already so you can ease up on the inquiries.
4. Therapy Takes a Turn: My therapist is now well-acquainted with my reproductive saga. We’ve gone from typical discussions to her asking if I’m ovulating yet, and she knows about my home insemination adventures. It’s a bit surreal, but helpful to have that support.
5. Syringe Skills Become Essential: You’ll get quite good at using a syringe for insemination. You’ll learn to find the right angle and technique to avoid “splashback.” By month three, you might even feel attached to your trusty syringe—after all, it’s been your main companion!
6. Your Social Media Feels Overrun: Suddenly, baby announcements flood your feed. Friends seem to be popping out kids left and right, and you can’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy after another disappointing test. The pressure is on, and those announcements can feel like tiny daggers to your heart.
7. Fertility Medications Are No Joke: It’s hard to accept needing extra help, but with low ovarian reserve, I found myself on progesterone and Clomid. Hot flashes in crowded places? Check. Mood swings that make you rage at every baby stroller? Definitely. The emotional rollercoaster is real, and you’ll feel ALL the feels.
8. Your Schedule Revolves Around Your Cycle: It’s not uncommon to decline social invitations because they clash with your insemination schedule. Your life becomes a series of timed events—ovulation, donor availability, and peeing on sticks.
9. You Start Noticing Other Single Moms: Growing up with both parents, I never paid much attention to single mothers, but now I find myself tuning in. Whether by choice or circumstance, their journeys resonate with me more than ever, and I’m eager to learn from their experiences.
10. You’ll Try Anything: I’m not typically superstitious, but I’ve found myself doing things I never thought I would—like wearing a fertility mala and lighting candles. I’ve cut various foods from my diet, guzzled water like it’s going out of style, and if it comes to injectable meds, I’ll go for it. I’m doing everything in my power to make motherhood a reality.

It’s amazing what you find yourself doing when you’re driven by the dream of becoming a parent.

If you want to explore more about fertility and home insemination, check out this insightful blog post on intracervicalinsemination.com. For a comprehensive guide, Make a Mom offers a great selection of tools for your journey. And for excellent resources on pregnancy, visit NICHD.

Summary

Choosing to become a single mother by choice is a journey filled with unexpected challenges and experiences. From mastering medical jargon to navigating emotional ups and downs, it’s a rollercoaster ride that ultimately leads to growth and determination.